“When you’re authentic and kind you never have to worry whether or not someone likes you. Keep your side of the street clean, spread love, and be yourself” Gabby Bernstein
Recently I’ve been focusing on keeping my own side of the street clean. Reminding myself that I’m not responsible for my neighbour’s side or for their opinion about my side. I’ll just keep my side as swept and sparkly as possible.
accepting responsibility for my actions and making amends as needed
sending and responding to messages and emails in a timely positive manner rather than worrying about when/if/what their reply/opinion will be
not speaking ill of others or chiming in on a gossip session
paying my bills rather than delaying/resenting them
celebrating others’ success instead of catching an acute case of Comparisonitus
It’s a work in progress of course and I’m oft tempted to sweep my neighbour’s leaves into a pile and then jump and crunch on them. But instead I’ll continue to sweep my bit and offer a wave across the street when I see them and not mind if they don’t wave back because it felt like the right thing for me to do regardless.
In a MAFS context, it’s why Bryce should be focusing on how he treats Melissa instead of getting fixated on how Sam treats Coco. But in a bigger picture context, it’s why I should be probably be reading a book rather than going down the MAFS rabbit hole again!
“You are always responsible for your side of the street. It is much easier if you keep it clean. The reality of life is this, you can’t control others, only you and only your reactions. As long as you keep your side clean, you can live with peace in your heart that you owned your crap and that you are trying not to harm anyone anymore. Be nice. Even if others aren’t” Bobbie Tipton Kaltmayer.
So try focusing on keeping your own side clean and see if it works for you. At the very least you’ll have a clean street!
Love and light and lovely piles of leaves xxx Yvette
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Welcome weavers! ILY big time. As the temperature starts to descend, my inspiration to write and share seems to ascend. I think it’s something about the cardigans and cups of tea that Autumn brings. Standing in your cardigan/ Kissing in my car again/ Stopped at a streetlight/ You know I miss you (Taylor Swift “Betty”).As I’ve been getting back into the routine of working, working out and working it, I’ve discovered and rediscovered some tools and tricks that have been helpful for me and thought I’d share with you dear reader.
Well, I tumble outta bed and stumble to the kitc’hen/Pour myself a cup of ambition/Yawn and stretch and try to come to life (Dolly Parton “9 to 5”).
Highly accurate Dolly but I’m now trying to set a more peaceful pace for my morning. I’m setting the alarm a wee bit earlier and following the steps that Hal Elrod calls SAVERS in his book, “The Miracle Morning”. SAVERS stands for: silence, affirmations, visualisation, exercise, reading, and scribing. I’m currently enjoying a 10 min meditation (S-V), 20 mins of exercise (E), writing a few scripting pages (S), reading a few pages of a personal development book/ watching a vid for inspo (R). Current faves are Boho BeautifulYoga Meditations, Move With Nicole Pilates and videos by OhMyAnnie/ Life By Lucie. For the A-bit, I’ll say something to myself while getting ready that captures the vibe of the thing like, “I’m positive and peaceful”. And, of course, a large cup of ambition is consumed too!
You spin me right ’round, baby. Right ’round like a record, baby. Right ’round, ’round, ’round” (Dead or Alive “You Spin Me Round (Like a Record).
Sometimes working in a service role, you come across a disgruntled customer or two. When someone snaps at me or is abrupt or rude, I can take it to heart and ruminate on it but I’m getting better at spinning it. When I start to think things like, ‘I’m crap at this job’ or ‘I can never help anyone’, I question whether it’s true and try to start spinning it by reaching for a better feeling thought. ‘There are aspects of the job I’m good it’, ‘I have been helpful to some customers’, ‘I’m learning more each day’, ‘that was more about their day than me’, ‘they are getting free books regardless’, ‘I enjoy being here’ and eventually the gloom lifts a bit and I can baby step my way back from the brink. Abraham Hicks reminds us that we always have this choice to reach for a better feeling thought: “I can complain or I can appreciate. I can find fault or I can look for positive aspects. I can remember things that irritated me, or I can remember things that please me. I can look for your flaws or I can look for your positive aspects. And in every moment in time, I’ve got an Upstream or Downstream Choice.”
From little things big things grow/From little things big things grow (Paul Kelly “From Little Things Big Things Grow”).
Little things really do make a big difference like; listening to my Happy Playlist in the car rather than the radio which is full of interrupting news and ads, doing EFT at the traffic lights, putting my vision board on the fridge and putting my phone on silent.
How are you manifesting a marvellous March? Love and light xxx Yvette
“You gotta rise above it. You gotta harness in the good energy, block out the bad. Harness. Energy. Block. Bad. Feel the flow Happy. Feel it. It’s circular. It’s like a carousel. You pay the quarter, you get on the horse, it goes up and down, and AROUND. It’s circular. Circle, with the music, the flow. All good things”. (Gary Potter “Happy Gilmore”)
Some of silver linings of COVID times for me were;
Taylor Swift releasing 2 surprise new albums of pure poetry which had us crying in #cottagecore and consulting our dictionaries. Both on repeat, current faves are; my tears ricochet, august (folklore) and tolerate it, ‘tis the damn season (evermore). She ended capital letters.
Being eligible for #jobkeeper allowance which took the pressure off being a part-time worker, full time dreamer. Enforced savings too with little to spend money on with no nights out, beauty treatments or incidental retail.
My previously much maligned hobbies of reading and walking finally paid off with little else to do. Many great books devoured this year, a few faves being; Such A Fun Age by Kiley Reid (fiction), Atomic Habits by James Clear (non-fiction) and Becoming by Michelle Obama (biography). Fave walking spot; Merri Creek trail. The Merriest place on earth.
Renewed appreciation for the everyday things often taken for granted; time spent in the library, café and gym, seeing friends and browsing stationery aisles. Even going to school or the office became a treat for kids and parents stuck at home. Seeing if Dan would wear the North Face or a Suit became a sport. Blessed be the doughnut days.
Kindness is magic. The stories of charity and compassion broadcast from around the world brought a tear to the eye on many occasions. The birthday parades, the Zoom bombing, the window visits to aged care homes. But, look, you’re all here, pitching in. I promised myself I wouldn’t cry…
So, looking forward and upward to 2021, here’s the good energy I’ll be continuing to harness:
Sticking to my low-buy of clothes and books. A library card and a uniform are all I need. The default being ‘no’ helped me realise that the urge to buy usually passes.
Blogging if and when I’m inspired to rather than doing it to a deadline.
Recognising that when I’m experiencing what Abraham Hicks calls contrast, it helps me define what I do want. “Always, when you know what you don’t want, that’s when the rocket of desire is born of what you do want.” Abraham Hicks. What I want is connection, simplicity, space and purpose.
How will you be harnessing the good and blocking the bad moving forward?
Who else can relate to the whole Palms-Sweaty-Mom’s-Spaghetti nervous Nellies? I feel them a lot from the most everyday thing-ordering a coffee from the cool kiwi baristas, what if they laugh at my coconut latte order cause it’s all about the oat flat white right now? To the most extreme-talking at a job interview with alarming speed, Ariana-level high pitch, little volume and Sahara-like dry mouth and oh-Gawd-what-am-I-even-saying? Snap back to reality, ope there goes gravity.
Nervousness hits me with a racing heart, dry mouth, butterfly-enclosure stomach and yes sweaty palms and just bucket loads of sweat in general. These flight or fight feelings are unpleasant but not fatal and I have developed some techniques over the years to keep them at bay so I can function like a normal human being at a café or a workplace.
Focus on the other person: What sicko came up with ‘picturing the audience in their underwear’ to put your mind at ease? Yikes! No thanks to the tighty whitey imaginations. But yes please to imagining them, as Louise Hay suggests, as a young child looking for love and acceptance as we all were once. This humanises everyone from scary boss to hipster morning-brown server, shifting your focus from yourself to them. Look into their eyes, look into their eyes, the eyes, the eyes, not around the eyes, don’t look around their eyes, look into their eyes. If on video chat, minimise yourself or hide your own screen so you don’t get caught up in your own head worrying about your hair. Also get some perspective, this may only be your 4th driving test (I’m an excellent driver) but your tester does this all day err’ day and is unattached from the outcome (as ‘A Little Bit’ Alexis reminds David in Schitt’s Creek).
Alexis: Okay, you are acting all sorts of crazy right now. This honestly does not matter. Nobody cares. David: Uh, people care. I care, the driving examiner person cares. Alexis: No, he doesn’t. Trust me, people aren’t thinking about you the way that you’re thinking about you.
Before and After: Aim to shift yourself into a peaceful and positive state before the event. For me this could include visualising everything going smoothly, and some practising if possible, rope a friend into playing the role of interviewer/ do as many practice tests as you can. My online dating nerves, for example, started at Panic-attack Levels and reduced to Moderate-Nausea by First-date 15. Listen to some upbeat music or a podcast before like Eminem or Hamish and Andy to shift your state. Plan something for after so you know that there will be an after and the world won’t end (most probably). I remind myself of something simple like, after the test-I’ll listen to the rest of that Podcast on the way home. When I get home, I’ll read another chapter of that book/ eat those leftovers in the fridge. I also say to myself, if I don’t like this, I don’t have to do it again or not for a long time anyway. Which makes me feel more ‘in control’.
Ground Yourself: Slow down your breathing to ground yourself in the present. Try some box breathing:
1: Slowly exhale. Sitting upright, slowly exhale through your mouth, getting all the oxygen out of your lungs.
2: Slowly inhale. Inhale slowly and deeply through your nose to the count of four.
3: Hold your breath for the count of four.
4: Exhale again for the count of four
5: Hold your breath again.
My kinesiologist taught me the technique to look around and name things you can physically see in your head; tree, car, person, dog, computer etc. This gets you out of your head and into the moment. Life is going on as normal all around you.
Try these techniques if you’re a nervous Nellie like me! Because Success is my only motherfuckin’ option, failure’s not.
Much love and luck xoxo Yvette
“I was playing in the beginning, the mood all changed”:
James Clear’s excellent book, “Atomic Habits”, introduced me to the idea of habit stacking. Where you stack an additional habit onto an already established one e.g. adding calf raises to your toothbrushing regime, doing stretches as your coffee brews or meditating after hitting the snooze button. Likewise, I’ve been trying to make some slow and steady improvements to my routine.
The Social Dilemma: “The best minds of my generation are thinking about how to make people click ads.” Jeff Hammerbacher.
Who else felt attacked by this Netflix Doco about our addictions to the online world? I knew there was a panel of people working on just-the-right-time to distract me with a notification, entice me with an ad or lure me into a Taylor Swift YouTube rabbit hole! The fact that most of the boffins spilling the tech tea say that they use minimal social media and don’t let their kids online because it’s so addictive and negative speaks volumes. I was shocked when I took a peek at my Screen Time on my phone settings so I decided to start cutting down my dose. Cold turkey might have seen me smashing the safe like the tween in the film. So, I have set app limits for social media, turned off notifications, left my phone on silent and out of eye-line and reach and preferably in another room where possible. I have got my screen time under 2 hours a day and aim to continue to cut it down slowly-slowly.
Sustainable: “We don’t need a handful of people doing zero waste perfectly. We need millions of people doing it imperfectly”. Anne-Marie Bonneau (Zero Waste Chef).
Two books I’ve read recently have motivated me to cut down my waste and be more mindful about sustainability. In “This One Wild and Precious Life”, Sarah Wilson advocates using and repurposing what we’ve already got. When her t-shirts become ragged under the arms, she cuts off the sleeves and wears them as tank tops. When they fall apart, she rips them up to use as cleaning cloths. She uses a jar as a coffee cup/ water bottle and famously wore the same pair of green shorts for 8 years. Since reading, I’ve been sure to use a keep cup or dine in (now we can in Melbourne again-hurrah) and repurpose containers for storage. In “Home” Harriet (Natural Harry) Birrell shares her simple homemade recipes for cleaning and beauty products to reduce waste, expense and live a low-tox life. I’ve vowed to replace my products with these as I run out. So far, I’ve made a Face Oil and a Surface Spray which I’m using with pride and sniffing with pleasure. Body Wash and Window Cleaner are next on my list. Thanks to these lovely ladies, I’m steadily stepping towards sustainability.
Fitness Finesse:“Welcome to your 30’s. A cauliflower substitute has replaced all the carbs you love and the only joy you get is watching shows about murder”. Dizzle Saint James.
The night before my friend and I went to a week-long health retreat a few years ago, we went on a bit of a binge. Fish and Chips, McFlurries, lollies, bottles of wine and ciggies were all consumed. We knew there would be no caffeine, sugar or alcohol so we went nuts. I mean…we’re not even smokers! While I had lots of fun rebelling and the retreat was amazing, I wish I had followed the retreat’s suggestion of slowly cutting down on all of these in the weeks before hand as I spent a good amount of time there suffering headaches and sleeplessness as I detoxed during 5am workouts with no coffee in sight. I’ve recently stacked on the Covid kilos with literally nothing to do but open-the-fridge in lockdown. To combat this, I’m slowly increasing the minutes I do daily Downward Dog App Workouts (Yoga, HIIT and Barre-ScoMo’s fave) and replacing all the carbs with a cauliflower substitute. I’m hoping this baby steps approach will serve me.
“Set aside a certain number of days, during which you shall be content with the scantiest and cheapest fare, with coarse and rough dress, saying to yourself the while: “Is this the condition that I feared?”. In days of peace the soldier performs maneuvers, throws up earthworks with no enemy in sight, and wearies himself by gratuitous toil, in order that he may be equal to unavoidable toil. If you would not have a man flinch when the crisis comes, train him before it comes”. Seneca
Wow those Stoics knew a thing or two about living…stoically. In these lockdown times many of us have been challenged to live with less. Less outings, less people, less money, alas not always less food (with cupboard proximity and all). It hasn’t always been comfortable as the initial sourdough starters and zoom drinks taper off into 2-minute noodles and meme sharing but we have had the chance to see ourselves handle discomfort which hopefully will fortify us for future sticky spots. Perhaps we can take a piece of parchment from Seneca’s book and continue these ways in the feast times so we fear not the famine.
I thought I already lived-with-less but life in a small space had previously meant much time spent in the gym, library or café which acted as a sort of extension living room. And living on one’s own means much of the human contact is incidental-a shared wince with a stranger over the ‘10 more’ in a Body Pump class, a giggle with a girl over “The Gruffalo’s warty nose” in the Picture Book section or a proffering of “The Sunday Paper Shiny bits” across the communal table. Sooner or later we’re all alone so this enforced time can only help me reckon with myself (and many thoughts have been spared for those who also reckon with mini humans). Never again will I lack gratitude for these simple pleasures and random exchanges with strangers.
People who lived through the Great Depression are famously frugal and resourceful and we have looked up to them as we plant Victory Gardens (with a boost from Bunnings), use Teabags twice and go from roast to leftover to broth (or have the intention to at least) in these trying times. If we can take on a Make Do and Mend mentality now, think of how crafty we’ll be if something potentially worse happens or the same again or even the thought of that.You may have heard gym bunnies spout that, “Summer bodies are made in the winter”, and you may have noticed that the only thingwe have to fear is fear itself so let’s learn to live with a dive into discomfort sometimes.
A grocery-shopping free week at the end of each month sees me come up with creative combinations from the cupboard. Being the sole Swans supporter in a sea of Yellow-and-Black at school footy day builds a thick skin. My commitment to not buying clothes helps me realise that no one really notices (or cares to say) that I’m wearing the blue dress again. A cold burst at the end of each shower is super re-FRESH-ing. Me and most Melbournians have realised that while haircuts and beauty treatments have been missed, we can live without them and overlook the results. So, how can you train yourself to live the simple life so you don’t flinch when the crisis comes?
“We shall be rich with all the more comfort, if we once learn how far poverty is from being a burden”.
Much Love Yvette (the Younger) xoxo
Join me…pretty please
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I’m baaackk! Have missed you guyZ and bloggY. Since I’ve been gone-bloggY turned 4 and Melbournians turned 164 due to Stage 4 restrictions. I’ve decided to post whenever/wherever I’m inspired to do so (sign up to email list belowfor a heads up). The survey results (link to take it belowif you’re yet to) showed a pretty even split between the topics you enjoy reading on WFM; Money, Sobriety/ Health, Recommendations (books, movies etc), Self-help stuff (law of attraction, mindfulness). So, I thought I’d give you a little of each to kick off the comeback.
Money: The silver lining of lockdown has been enforced savings in a lot of categories due to closures. Hair and beauty appointments have been stret—ched out almost to bi-annual rather than every 6-12 weeks. While I could definitely use a fringe and brow trim (luckily one hides the other), I’ve realised I can go at least an extra month between appointments without too much fall-out once they reopen and hence continue to save the pennies. Also, while I miss browsing in Kmart fondling the stationery fondly, Click and Collect forces me to be more intentional and hence spending is less triggered by boredom or emotion.
Sobriety/ Health: Oh, to return to the innocence I had during the first weeks of lockdown, when I believed I could stay committed to long daily work-outs and that I would never tire of doing all of Briigghton. Inevitably I didn’t maintain motivation and felt discouraged until I heard Dr Rangan Chatterjee talking about his book, “Feel Better in 5″ https://drchatterjee.com/feel-better-in-5/on the YouTubes. He says, “Trying to be healthy can be overwhelming – what if all it took to make a real difference was 5 minutes of your day?’ He suggests finding a 5 minute ‘health snack’ for Mind, Body and Heart to do daily. I’ve chosen a guided meditation on Insight Timer, a 5-minute HIIT session on the Downward Dog App and gratitude journaling before bed. These things do make a difference and are achievable so give me a sense of satisfaction and I can ‘stack’ more good habits on top or increase the amount of time I do them.
Recommendations: Some rad friends have recommended some cool stuff. The Netflix show “Cobra Kai” with a prequel of “The Karate Kid” (the 80’s one is on Binge, no thank you to the Jaden Smith Remake). It’s nostalgic and funny but not cheesy-thanks Lloyd for suggesting. Eagerly anticipating Season 3. https://www.netflix.com/search?q=cob&jbv=81002370
Self-help stuff: I am loving my Abraham Hicks perpetual flip calendar with a daily inspiration. It’s putting the woo-hoo! into the woo-woo. Here is today’s: October 13: Scripting is one of those processes that we offer to assist you in telling the Universe the way you want it to be. Scripting will help you break your habit of talking about things as they are, and will help you begin talking about how you would like things to be. Scripting will help you offer your vibration deliberately.
Thanks for reading dear reader. I’d love to hear from you too.
Much love xoxo Yvette
Join me…pretty please
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Hi Love, I have been wondering what’s next for Weave the Future Magical so I’ve decided to take a break from my (totally self-imposed) blogging schedule (weekly then fortnightly for 4 years) to see. This is my 173rd post! Wow-wee.. Please stay in touch-email list, social links and survey below-and let me know what topic you enjoy reading about most.
Light and Light xxx Yvette
Ps: Oh my God! If you say that one more time, I’m gonna break up with you!
Back in July, I took the Uber frugal month challenge with the Frugalwoods. There is always more to learn about saving and I managed to cut my budget even further.
Start with why
To set yourself up for the challenge and to make it through those tough moments when you want THAT takeaway coffee, it is very important to start with why. On Day one, you outline your goals and later you write out these goals and put them in your wallet to serve as a reminder when you’re tempted to spend. Keeping the big picture in mind is important and resets your mindset to distinguish wants from needs.
Mrs Frugalwoods advocates for a 72-hour waitlist before buying anything. This serves as a cooling off period and helps you to work out if you really do you need something or if you’re just trying to make yourself feel better. If the rush of shopping is what you crave then the same rush can be had with a better return if you purchase shares for example. Tracking your expenses and income makes you hyper- aware of where your money is going. I use the Pocketbook App. If you can’t measure it, you can’t improve it. – Peter Drucker
Most of our money is spent on the big 4; house, utilities, transport and food. As Frugalwoods is an American blog, I used the tips from the excellent book, “Kill Bills” by Joel Gibson to Australianise these categories. I was what Joel calls, “A Sleeping Beauty”, just staying with the companies I selected yonks ago and not realising they’d shifted me to the dud deals. I switched electricity companies (saving 10%) and internet providers (saving $20/ month) and will switch phone/ insurance companies or ask for a price match when my contract ends. I also became more mindful about knowing my mortgage rate, seeking out the best priced petrol within proximity, bundling together errands to drive less and only using the dishwasher and washing machine when they are full. I attempted to do a fortnightly rather than weekly Aldi shop (with a fresh stuff top up as needed) and use what I already have. I am becoming a Straw-headed Warrior of savings.
Creativity and Comfort Zone
Committing to being Uber Frugal was actually fun and I was reminded to be grateful for what I have and to use it. Shopping my own pantry and wardrobe forced me to be more creative with it. 2020, I definitely have plenty. It was outside my comfort zone to research and switch companies as I’m very much a set-and-forget and don’t rock-the-boat. It was actually much easier than I thought, the new companies did most of the leg work and I could still be polite about it. It’s in their best interests financially to retain you as a customer too so remember you have the power!
I’m going to continue in my quest to be Uber Frugal and this month-long challenge was a great reset. You can take it anytime, link below.
Love and light and silly rabbit-Trix are for kids xxx Yvette