Nervous Nellie

Who else can relate to the whole Palms-Sweaty-Mom’s-Spaghetti nervous Nellies? I feel them a lot from the most everyday thing-ordering a coffee from the cool kiwi baristas, what if they laugh at my coconut latte order cause it’s all about the oat flat white right now? To the most extreme-talking at a job interview with alarming speed, Ariana-level high pitch, little volume and Sahara-like dry mouth and oh-Gawd-what-am-I-even-saying? Snap back to reality, ope there goes gravity.

Nervousness hits me with a racing heart, dry mouth, butterfly-enclosure stomach and yes sweaty palms and just bucket loads of sweat in general. These flight or fight feelings are unpleasant but not fatal and I have developed some techniques over the years to keep them at bay so I can function like a normal human being at a café or a workplace.

Focus on the other person: What sicko came up with ‘picturing the audience in their underwear’ to put your mind at ease? Yikes! No thanks to the tighty whitey imaginations. But yes please to imagining them, as Louise Hay suggests, as a young child looking for love and acceptance as we all were once. This humanises everyone from scary boss to hipster morning-brown server, shifting your focus from yourself to them. Look into their eyes, look into their eyes, the eyes, the eyes, not around the eyes, don’t look around their eyes, look into their eyes. If on video chat, minimise yourself or hide your own screen so you don’t get caught up in your own head worrying about your hair. Also get some perspective, this may only be your 4th driving test (I’m an excellent driver) but your tester does this all day err’ day and is unattached from the outcome (as ‘A Little Bit’ Alexis reminds David in Schitt’s Creek).

Alexis: Okay, you are acting all sorts of crazy right now. This honestly does not matter. Nobody cares.
David: Uh, people care. I care, the driving examiner person cares.
Alexis: No, he doesn’t. Trust me, people aren’t thinking about you the way that you’re thinking about you.

Before and After: Aim to shift yourself into a peaceful and positive state before the event. For me this could include visualising everything going smoothly, and some practising if possible, rope a friend into playing the role of interviewer/ do as many practice tests as you can. My online dating nerves, for example, started at Panic-attack Levels and reduced to Moderate-Nausea by First-date 15. Listen to some upbeat music or a podcast before like Eminem or Hamish and Andy to shift your state. Plan something for after so you know that there will be an after and the world won’t end (most probably). I remind myself of something simple like, after the test-I’ll listen to the rest of that Podcast on the way home. When I get home, I’ll read another chapter of that book/ eat those leftovers in the fridge. I also say to myself, if I don’t like this, I don’t have to do it again or not for a long time anyway. Which makes me feel more ‘in control’.

Ground Yourself: Slow down your breathing to ground yourself in the present. Try some box breathing:

1: Slowly exhale. Sitting upright, slowly exhale through your mouth, getting all the oxygen out of your lungs.

2: Slowly inhale. Inhale slowly and deeply through your nose to the count of four.

3: Hold your breath for the count of four.

4: Exhale again for the count of four

5: Hold your breath again.

My kinesiologist taught me the technique to look around and name things you can physically see in your head; tree, car, person, dog, computer etc. This gets you out of your head and into the moment. Life is going on as normal all around you.

Try these techniques if you’re a nervous Nellie like me! Because Success is my only motherfuckin’ option, failure’s not.

Much love and luck xoxo Yvette

“I was playing in the beginning, the mood all changed”:

“Look into my eyes”:

“David. Nobody Cares!”

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Steady As She Goes

James Clear’s excellent book, “Atomic Habits”, introduced me to the idea of habit stacking. Where you stack an additional habit onto an already established one e.g. adding calf raises to your toothbrushing regime, doing stretches as your coffee brews or meditating after hitting the snooze button. Likewise, I’ve been trying to make some slow and steady improvements to my routine.

The Social Dilemma: “The best minds of my generation are thinking about how to make people click ads.” Jeff Hammerbacher.

Who else felt attacked by this Netflix Doco about our addictions to the online world? I knew there was a panel of people working on just-the-right-time to distract me with a notification, entice me with an ad or lure me into a Taylor Swift YouTube rabbit hole! The fact that most of the boffins spilling the tech tea say that they use minimal social media and don’t let their kids online because it’s so addictive and negative speaks volumes. I was shocked when I took a peek at my Screen Time on my phone settings so I decided to start cutting down my dose. Cold turkey might have seen me smashing the safe like the tween in the film. So, I have set app limits for social media, turned off notifications, left my phone on silent and out of eye-line and reach and preferably in another room where possible. I have got my screen time under 2 hours a day and aim to continue to cut it down slowly-slowly.

Sustainable: “We don’t need a handful of people doing zero waste perfectly. We need millions of people doing it imperfectly”. Anne-Marie Bonneau (Zero Waste Chef).

Two books I’ve read recently have motivated me to cut down my waste and be more mindful about sustainability. In “This One Wild and Precious Life”, Sarah Wilson advocates using and repurposing what we’ve already got. When her t-shirts become ragged under the arms, she cuts off the sleeves and wears them as tank tops. When they fall apart, she rips them up to use as cleaning cloths. She uses a jar as a coffee cup/ water bottle and famously wore the same pair of green shorts for 8 years. Since reading, I’ve been sure to use a keep cup or dine in (now we can in Melbourne again-hurrah) and repurpose containers for storage. In “Home” Harriet (Natural Harry) Birrell shares her simple homemade recipes for cleaning and beauty products to reduce waste, expense and live a low-tox life. I’ve vowed to replace my products with these as I run out. So far, I’ve made a Face Oil and a Surface Spray which I’m using with pride and sniffing with pleasure. Body Wash and Window Cleaner are next on my list. Thanks to these lovely ladies, I’m steadily stepping towards sustainability.

Fitness Finesse: “Welcome to your 30’s. A cauliflower substitute has replaced all the carbs you love and the only joy you get is watching shows about murder”. Dizzle Saint James.

The night before my friend and I went to a week-long health retreat a few years ago, we went on a bit of a binge. Fish and Chips, McFlurries, lollies, bottles of wine and ciggies were all consumed. We knew there would be no caffeine, sugar or alcohol so we went nuts. I mean…we’re not even smokers! While I had lots of fun rebelling and the retreat was amazing, I wish I had followed the retreat’s suggestion of slowly cutting down on all of these in the weeks before hand as I spent a good amount of time there suffering headaches and sleeplessness as I detoxed during 5am workouts with no coffee in sight. I’ve recently stacked on the Covid kilos with literally nothing to do but open-the-fridge in lockdown. To combat this, I’m slowly increasing the minutes I do daily Downward Dog App Workouts (Yoga, HIIT and Barre-ScoMo’s fave) and replacing all the carbs with a cauliflower substitute. I’m hoping this baby steps approach will serve me.

So Steady as She Goes as we go into November…

Xxx Much Love Yvette

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“Set aside a certain number of days, during which you shall be content with the scantiest and cheapest fare, with coarse and rough dress, saying to yourself the while: “Is this the condition that I feared?”. In days of peace the soldier performs maneuvers, throws up earthworks with no enemy in sight, and wearies himself by gratuitous toil, in order that he may be equal to unavoidable toil. If you would not have a man flinch when the crisis comes, train him before it comes”. Seneca

Wow those Stoics knew a thing or two about living…stoically. In these lockdown times many of us have been challenged to live with less. Less outings, less people, less money, alas not always less food (with cupboard proximity and all). It hasn’t always been comfortable as the initial sourdough starters and zoom drinks taper off into 2-minute noodles and meme sharing but we have had the chance to see ourselves handle discomfort which hopefully will fortify us for future sticky spots. Perhaps we can take a piece of parchment from Seneca’s book and continue these ways in the feast times so we fear not the famine.

I thought I already lived-with-less but life in a small space had previously meant much time spent in the gym, library or café which acted as a sort of extension living room. And living on one’s own means much of the human contact is incidental-a shared wince with a stranger over the ‘10 more’ in a Body Pump class, a giggle with a girl over “The Gruffalo’s warty nose” in the Picture Book section or a proffering of “The Sunday Paper Shiny bits” across the communal table. Sooner or later we’re all alone so this enforced time can only help me reckon with myself (and many thoughts have been spared for those who also reckon with mini humans). Never again will I lack gratitude for these simple pleasures and random exchanges with strangers.

People who lived through the Great Depression are famously frugal and resourceful and we have looked up to them as we plant Victory Gardens (with a boost from Bunnings), use Teabags twice and go from roast to leftover to broth (or have the intention to at least) in these trying times. If we can take on a Make Do and Mend mentality now, think of how crafty we’ll be if something potentially worse happens or the same again or even the thought of that.You may have heard gym bunnies spout that, “Summer bodies are made in the winter”, and you may have noticed that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself so let’s learn to live with a dive into discomfort sometimes.

A grocery-shopping free week at the end of each month sees me come up with creative combinations from the cupboard. Being the sole Swans supporter in a sea of Yellow-and-Black at school footy day builds a thick skin. My commitment to not buying clothes helps me realise that no one really notices (or cares to say) that I’m wearing the blue dress again. A cold burst at the end of each shower is super re-FRESH-ing. Me and most Melbournians have realised that while haircuts and beauty treatments have been missed, we can live without them and overlook the results. So, how can you train yourself to live the simple life so you don’t flinch when the crisis comes?

 “We shall be rich with all the more comfort, if we once learn how far poverty is from being a burden”.

Much Love Yvette (the Younger) xoxo

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Guess who’s back?

I’m baaackk! Have missed you guyZ and bloggY. Since I’ve been gone-bloggY turned 4 and Melbournians turned 164 due to Stage 4 restrictions. I’ve decided to post whenever/wherever I’m inspired to do so (sign up to email list below for a heads up). The survey results (link to take it below if you’re yet to) showed a pretty even split between the topics you enjoy reading on WFM; Money, Sobriety/ Health, Recommendations (books, movies etc), Self-help stuff (law of attraction, mindfulness). So, I thought I’d give you a little of each to kick off the comeback.

Money: The silver lining of lockdown has been enforced savings in a lot of categories due to closures. Hair and beauty appointments have been stret—ched out almost to bi-annual rather than every 6-12 weeks. While I could definitely use a fringe and brow trim (luckily one hides the other), I’ve realised I can go at least an extra month between appointments without too much fall-out once they reopen and hence continue to save the pennies. Also, while I miss browsing in Kmart fondling the stationery fondly, Click and Collect forces me to be more intentional and hence spending is less triggered by boredom or emotion.

Sobriety/ Health: Oh, to return to the innocence I had during the first weeks of lockdown, when I believed I could stay committed to long daily work-outs and that I would never tire of doing all of Briigghton. Inevitably I didn’t maintain motivation and felt discouraged until I heard Dr Rangan Chatterjee talking about his book, “Feel Better in 5″ the YouTubes. He says, “Trying to be healthy can be overwhelming – what if all it took to make a real difference was 5 minutes of your day?’ He suggests finding a 5 minute ‘health snack’ for Mind, Body and Heart to do daily. I’ve chosen a guided meditation on Insight Timer, a 5-minute HIIT session on the Downward Dog App and gratitude journaling before bed. These things do make a difference and are achievable so give me a sense of satisfaction and I can ‘stack’ more good habits on top or increase the amount of time I do them. 

Recommendations: Some rad friends have recommended some cool stuff. The Netflix show “Cobra Kai” with a prequel of “The Karate Kid” (the 80’s one is on Binge, no thank you to the Jaden Smith Remake). It’s nostalgic and funny but not cheesy-thanks Lloyd for suggesting. Eagerly anticipating Season 3.

The Podcast “Unravel True Crime: Snowball”. This is an excellent accompaniment to your daily constitutional. Suspenseful, intriguing but not grizzly with cute Kiwi accents and keen investigating. Tak Markus for the tip.

Self-help stuff: I am loving my Abraham Hicks perpetual flip calendar with a daily inspiration. It’s putting the woo-hoo! into the woo-woo.  Here is today’s: October 13: Scripting is one of those processes that we offer to assist you in telling the Universe the way you want it to be. Scripting will help you break your habit of talking about things as they are, and will help you begin talking about how you would like things to be. Scripting will help you offer your vibration deliberately.

Thanks for reading dear reader. I’d love to hear from you too.

Much love xoxo Yvette

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We were on a break!

Hi Love,
I have been wondering what’s next for Weave the Future Magical so I’ve decided to take a break from my (totally self-imposed) blogging schedule (weekly then fortnightly for 4 years) to see. This is my 173rd post! Wow-wee.. Please stay in touch-email list, social links and survey below-and let me know what topic you enjoy reading about most.

Light and Light xxx Yvette

Ps: Oh my God! If you say that one more time, I’m gonna break up with you!  

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Uber frugal month challenge

Back in July, I took the Uber frugal month challenge with the Frugalwoods. There is always more to learn about saving and I managed to cut my budget even further.

Start with why

To set yourself up for the challenge and to make it through those tough moments when you want THAT takeaway coffee, it is very important to start with why. On Day one, you outline your goals and later you write out these goals and put them in your wallet to serve as a reminder when you’re tempted to spend. Keeping the big picture in mind is important and resets your mindset to distinguish wants from needs. 

Compulsive Behaviour

Mrs Frugalwoods advocates for a 72-hour waitlist before buying anything. This serves as a cooling off period and helps you to work out if you really do you need something or if you’re just trying to make yourself feel better. If the rush of shopping is what you crave then the same rush can be had with a better return if you purchase shares for example. Tracking your expenses and income makes you hyper- aware of where your money is going. I use the Pocketbook App. If you can’t measure it, you can’t improve it. – Peter Drucker 

Kill Bills

Most of our money is spent on the big 4; house, utilities, transport and food. As Frugalwoods is an American blog, I used the tips from the excellent book, “Kill Bills” by Joel Gibson to Australianise these categories. I was what Joel calls, “A Sleeping Beauty”, just staying with the companies I selected yonks ago and not realising they’d shifted me to the dud deals. I switched electricity companies (saving 10%) and internet providers (saving $20/ month) and will switch phone/ insurance companies or ask for a price match when my contract ends. I also became more mindful about knowing my mortgage rate, seeking out the best priced petrol within proximity, bundling together errands to drive less and only using the dishwasher and washing machine when they are full. I attempted to do a fortnightly rather than weekly Aldi shop (with a fresh stuff top up as needed) and use what I already have. I am becoming a Straw-headed Warrior of savings.

Creativity and Comfort Zone 

Committing to being Uber Frugal was actually fun and I was reminded to be grateful for what I have and to use it. Shopping my own pantry and wardrobe forced me to be more creative with it. 2020, I definitely have plenty. It was outside my comfort zone to research and switch companies as I’m very much a set-and-forget and don’t rock-the-boat. It was actually much easier than I thought, the new companies did most of the leg work and I could still be polite about it. It’s in their best interests financially to retain you as a customer too so remember you have the power!

I’m going to continue in my quest to be Uber Frugal and this month-long challenge was a great reset. You can take it anytime, link below. 

Love and light and silly rabbit-Trix are for kids xxx Yvette–joel-gibson/book/9781760853495.html

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The Script

“As you imagine and visualize and verbalize your new story, in time you will believe the new story, and when that happens, the evidence will flow swiftly into your experience”. Abraham Hicks

I’m a lover of the Law of Attraction and enjoy using a technique called scripting. Scripting is where you write a story of how you want your life to be, as if your desires have already manifested and feel the feelings of gratitude and joy they bring. When I was Kondo-ing, I found notebooks full of my scripts about having my license and a cute car, a beloved blog and a healthy lifestyle. I’m happy to say dear reader I have manifested all those things! I share you with some of my current scripts that I scribe most days and urge you to spend some time visualising, dreaming and writing down your own.

I am so happy and grateful for my beautiful minimal home close to nature with space for pets and people to be together and space to be alone and create.

I love my fun, creative, well-paid job and working with people I love and respect who love and respect me. It is close to home, combines my interests and skills and there are opportunities to grow, learn and create.

I am abundant and financially free. I make mindful choices with my money and have the security of investments, savings and owning property and the freedom to work, travel, invest, buy, give and donate as I choose.

My relationships are fun, joyful, affectionate and honest. I am loved and accepted for who I am and I love and accept others.

I feel joyful and light. And so it is…

I also enjoy scripting a day in the life and write about waking up to the sound of the ocean and going downstairs to my yoga room/ plunge pool/ coffee machine. So, try it friend and become more magnetic to your desires.

“Write your own story and trust the universe to deliver”. Abraham Hicks

Love and light and so it is xxx Yvette

How to manifest anything with scripting by Ella Ringrose

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Freedom = Security

“Happiness has many roots, but none more important than security”. E.R. Stettinius, Jr.

 Back in the day I used to think that my idea of hell would be a stable job, secure home in the suburbs and sensible rubber boots. I wanted to be free damn it. Now…it seems almost the opposite for I’ve realised that freedom for me must be underpinned by security.

I chopped and changed casual jobs, rental houses and converse sneakers. Often chucking it in and trying something new when I felt restless and uncomfortable. I’ve now realised that instability=anxiety and a nice quiet life ain’t half bad. The years of turbulence (and the money) I could’ve saved if I’d known this earlier.

I’ve been trying casual work, thinking it meant more flexibility and freedom but getting the Job Seeker Allowance and regular work hours has been so much better for my state of mind in these uncertain times.

I really should’ve realised this earlier seeing as I get joy from routine, peace of mind from consistency and my idea of a good night is an episode of “Midsomer Murders” (perfectly predictable) from the couch in my safe cosy flat.

When I got sober, I rediscovered that much of the anxiety I was drinking to avoid was caused by the drinking and the situations it found me in (i.e.: unpredictable ones). I was rebelling against true nature by drinking and therefore punishing myself.

I then discovered the instability was always unhealthy for me so getting my own place and one of those career things was helpful too. Now I’m interested in the freedom that being financially independent would bring. For some, it may look like a whirlwind of travel, for me it may be more like a walk through the woods in my sensible rubber boots! 

Love and light and routines rule! xxx Yvette

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Use it or lose it

My low-buy year has helped me rediscover how much I already have. I’ve been making a conscious effort to reach for the lesser worn scrunchie or t.shirt and to cook with that cous-cous in the cupboard or those frozen veg in the freezer.

The full KondoI

If you have things that you no longer need/use and the joy sparked is nil or minimal, please thank them for their service and send them off to a loving new home. But even after going the full Kondo on my belongings, I realised there were still many things I was ‘saving for good’ or simply not reaching for at the back of the cupboard or drawer.

Shop your stuff

With shopping (except for essentials) being off the agenda, this rediscovery process brings a bit of the thrill of the shopper’s high back. I flipped my cupboards and drawer contents so am enjoying sipping tea from that other mug, wearing the other grey hoodie, spritzing the lesser worn perfume and consuming a veggie cous-cous combo (pro-tip: add chilli sauce).

Waste not want not

I was sad when I was Kondo-ing to discover many things I was ‘saving for good’ were out of date. Like the lovely Lush body lotions I was gifted and the exotic spices I was going to use in a Moroccan dish. Now I’m being more mindful of best-before dates, substituting what I have (salt and sugar are interchangeable right?) and reminding myself of the fact that every day is an occasion worthy of using the good stuff.

Challenger ready

It’s a fun and frugal challenge to try and skip the grocery run for a week and instead use what you already have. The last week of the month is a good time to try this to stretch out that budget. It’s good for the wallet and the environment to minimise waste and for the creativity to see what you can cobble together and cook up.

So, try using it or risk losing it. 2020 we have plenty.

Love and light and not-with-the-good-scissors xxx Yvette

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