The Script

“As you imagine and visualize and verbalize your new story, in time you will believe the new story, and when that happens, the evidence will flow swiftly into your experience”. Abraham Hicks

I’m a lover of the Law of Attraction and enjoy using a technique called scripting. Scripting is where you write a story of how you want your life to be, as if your desires have already manifested and feel the feelings of gratitude and joy they bring. When I was Kondo-ing, I found notebooks full of my scripts about having my license and a cute car, a beloved blog and a healthy lifestyle. I’m happy to say dear reader I have manifested all those things! I share you with some of my current scripts that I scribe most days and urge you to spend some time visualising, dreaming and writing down your own.

I am so happy and grateful for my beautiful minimal home close to nature with space for pets and people to be together and space to be alone and create.

I love my fun, creative, well-paid job and working with people I love and respect who love and respect me. It is close to home, combines my interests and skills and there are opportunities to grow, learn and create.

I am abundant and financially free. I make mindful choices with my money and have the security of investments, savings and owning property and the freedom to work, travel, invest, buy, give and donate as I choose.

My relationships are fun, joyful, affectionate and honest. I am loved and accepted for who I am and I love and accept others.

I feel joyful and light. And so it is…

I also enjoy scripting a day in the life and write about waking up to the sound of the ocean and going downstairs to my yoga room/ plunge pool/ coffee machine. So, try it friend and become more magnetic to your desires.

“Write your own story and trust the universe to deliver”. Abraham Hicks

Love and light and so it is xxx Yvette

How to manifest anything with scripting by Ella Ringrose https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8cRCV-D95E

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Freedom = Security

“Happiness has many roots, but none more important than security”. E.R. Stettinius, Jr.

 Back in the day I used to think that my idea of hell would be a stable job, secure home in the suburbs and sensible rubber boots. I wanted to be free damn it. Now…it seems almost the opposite for I’ve realised that freedom for me must be underpinned by security.

I chopped and changed casual jobs, rental houses and converse sneakers. Often chucking it in and trying something new when I felt restless and uncomfortable. I’ve now realised that instability=anxiety and a nice quiet life ain’t half bad. The years of turbulence (and the money) I could’ve saved if I’d known this earlier.

I’ve been trying casual work, thinking it meant more flexibility and freedom but getting the Job Seeker Allowance and regular work hours has been so much better for my state of mind in these uncertain times.

I really should’ve realised this earlier seeing as I get joy from routine, peace of mind from consistency and my idea of a good night is an episode of “Midsomer Murders” (perfectly predictable) from the couch in my safe cosy flat.

When I got sober, I rediscovered that much of the anxiety I was drinking to avoid was caused by the drinking and the situations it found me in (i.e.: unpredictable ones). I was rebelling against true nature by drinking and therefore punishing myself.

I then discovered the instability was always unhealthy for me so getting my own place and one of those career things was helpful too. Now I’m interested in the freedom that being financially independent would bring. For some, it may look like a whirlwind of travel, for me it may be more like a walk through the woods in my sensible rubber boots! 

Love and light and routines rule! xxx Yvette

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Use it or lose it

My low-buy year has helped me rediscover how much I already have. I’ve been making a conscious effort to reach for the lesser worn scrunchie or t.shirt and to cook with that cous-cous in the cupboard or those frozen veg in the freezer.

The full KondoI

If you have things that you no longer need/use and the joy sparked is nil or minimal, please thank them for their service and send them off to a loving new home. But even after going the full Kondo on my belongings, I realised there were still many things I was ‘saving for good’ or simply not reaching for at the back of the cupboard or drawer.

Shop your stuff

With shopping (except for essentials) being off the agenda, this rediscovery process brings a bit of the thrill of the shopper’s high back. I flipped my cupboards and drawer contents so am enjoying sipping tea from that other mug, wearing the other grey hoodie, spritzing the lesser worn perfume and consuming a veggie cous-cous combo (pro-tip: add chilli sauce).

Waste not want not

I was sad when I was Kondo-ing to discover many things I was ‘saving for good’ were out of date. Like the lovely Lush body lotions I was gifted and the exotic spices I was going to use in a Moroccan dish. Now I’m being more mindful of best-before dates, substituting what I have (salt and sugar are interchangeable right?) and reminding myself of the fact that every day is an occasion worthy of using the good stuff.

Challenger ready

It’s a fun and frugal challenge to try and skip the grocery run for a week and instead use what you already have. The last week of the month is a good time to try this to stretch out that budget. It’s good for the wallet and the environment to minimise waste and for the creativity to see what you can cobble together and cook up.

So, try using it or risk losing it. 2020 we have plenty.

Love and light and not-with-the-good-scissors xxx Yvette

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More words to live by

As I’ve been walking in a Winter wonderland recently, I’ve been listening to podcasts and some of the things I’ve had have heard on them have struck me and stuck with me for further contemplation and motivation.

 “You’re putting the needs of tomorrow ahead of the wants of today.” Captain Fi on Episode 4: Aussie Firebug of “Captain Fi” I’ve gone back down the FIRE (financially-independent-retire-early) rabbit-hole and am currently doing an uber frugal month so this quote from the Aussie podcast was very timely. Yes, a takeaway pizza pie would be delicious today but even more delicious will be the money I’ve saved from cooking my own when it comes out of tomorrow’s oven all investY and compoundY.

“Write down the 5 things that you enjoy doing the most on a weekly basis and these will reflect your values which will guide you”.Scott Rieckens on Episode 82 of “The Fi Show”. Scott was one of the producers and subjects of the documentary, “Playing with FIRE”. It documents his and his wife Taylor’s introduction into the world of financial independence.  They both do this exercise early on in the movie and realise that their favourite things are inexpensive and can be done anywhere. For example, Taylor lists playing with their daughter and having coffee with Scott. Mine include walking and writing which are also examples of cost-effective and fun things that value time over money. What are yours?

“An honest no is better than a dishonest maybe.”Clear is Kind, Communication with Brad Barrett on Episode 28 of “Everyday Courage”. The more honest and clear we can be with others about our expectations, boundaries and preferences, the better. Instead of RSVP-ing “Maybe” and worrying about whether to go to something or not, Brad and Jillian (fellow people-pleasers) suggest checking in with yourself to gauge how you actually feel about it and then share it with the other person. Certainty is better than uncertainty for everyone.

“There are two ways to wealth; acquire more or desire less”.Eddy Garcia on Episode 84 of “The Fi Show” As Eddy talked about his childhood growing up in Hawaii, fishing, surfing and plucking coconuts-I was reminded of how fulfilling and free living with less can be. Time for more decluttering and earthing!

I’d love to hear from you. What podcasts and words of wisdom have struck a chord with you dear reader?

Love and light and slushy stomping we go xxx Yvette

Podcast | The Aussie Firebug

Playing with FIRE | Scott Rieckens

https://www.jillianjohnsrud.com/clear-is-kind-communication-with-brad-barrett/

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Stone Cold Sober

Reposting this blog originally published March 2017 to celebrate my 4 year Soberversary in July. Ginger beer cheers to many more!

Weave the Future Magical

Hi I’m Yvette and it’s been 7 months since my last drink. There was a time when 7 days between drinks felt like an almost impossible feat. My brain was wired for the Groundhog Day, one-size-fits all solution of ‘wine’.

Good day? Wine. Bad day? Wine. Going out? Wine. Staying in? Wine. Happy? Wine. Sad? Wine. Hangover? Hair of the dog that bit me…Wine! Wine was the answer at least for most of the questions in my mind.

Wine was friend. Always there. I could buy it! The novelty of this fact has never worn off. I can buy it? Whenever I want? Wherever I want? With wine as always is Garth/ Yvette. Of course it started off as a relationship full of fun and parties. Hangovers were minimal (oh to be young) and drinking almost an expectation. Slowly it slid into a co-dependent…

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Frugal Freedom

“Joy is not a “done” to-do list; rather, it’s the ability to appreciate and savour the simplicity of each day’s routine. To not feel that you need a vacation from your life. To know that you’re living as close to your ideal as possible, every single day.”― Elizabeth Willard Thames: Meet the Frugalwoods: Achieving Financial Independence Through Simple Living

“A lot of stuff we spend money on actually makes life less enjoyable in the long run. And a lot of cheap and free stuff is very enjoyable indeed. So why choose the stuff that requires us to work all the time and get stressed about bank balances?” ―Annie Raser-Rowland and Adam Grubb: The Art of Frugal Hedonism: A Guide to Spending Less While Enjoying Everything More

I’m half-way through my low-buy year #2020WeHavePlenty. I’m not buying any clothes or books, replacements only in accessories and beauty products, only occasional take-away coffee and food, trying to use less utilities and budgeting for groceries and other expenses. In many ways, being in various levels of lockdown has helped cut down my spending in most categories; Public Transport, Petrol, Entertainment, Beauty, Gym etc and helped me feel OK about adopting a tracksuit-only uniform. I learned that literally having nowhere to spend your money means you don’t spend your money. I’m fast colouring in squares on the money saver page on my fridge.

Two excellent books I’ve read recently, “Meet the Frugalwoods” (borrowed eBook from library) and “The Art of Frugal Hedonism” (a friend lent me), have shared the increased pleasures of living a simplified, values-driven life. The joy of harvesting and sharing your own produce, of camping with friends, the relationship-building potential of cutting each other’s hair and going on picnics. The silver lining of lockdown has not simply been the Scrilla saved but also the increased focus on values, the return to simplicity, self-sufficiency and sourdough starters. Is a wine-cooler (or kombucha) in the driveway talking to your neighbours secondary to getting on-the-beers at the pub or is it actually superior? Likewise, nature walks and live streamed yoga classes vs. going to the gym. Ditto homemade cinnamon scrolls vs. Baker’s Delight?

“In the rush to return to normal, use this time to consider which parts of normal are worth rushing back to.” – Dave Hollis

Perhaps we can all try and continue to live a life rich in simple pleasures, home cooking and time rather than so much outsourcing, over working and expense. I’m looking forward to the fun of frugality and saving money for the rest of the year. I plan to do the Frugalwoods Uber Frugal Month challenge in July. Who’s filling up their thermos and coming with me into this brave new world?

Love and light and less is more xxx Yvette

Frugalwoods https://www.frugalwoods.com/category/uberfrugalmonth/

The Art of Frugal Hedonism https://www.frugalhedonism.com/

2020 we have plenty https://www.uselesswardrobe.dk/low-buy-2020/

Colouring in Pages https://debtfreecharts.com/products/debt-free-land

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The Hunger Games: May challenge

Every month this year, I’m trying a new challenge to see if it kickstarts a positive change or habit. In May, I tried the 5:2 Diet. I had put on the Quarantine-5 (kgs-at least!) so was hopeful that this regime would break my slavery to the constant insatiable eating. The 5:2 diet involves eating normally for five days per week, then restricting your calorie intake to 500–600 calories on the other two days (500 for women, 600 for men). It was developed by Dr Michael Mosley. I read his 2014 book “The 5:2 Diet”. He has since updated the regime to be kickstarted by a time of eating 800 calories prior to this but I jumped right into ye olde 5:2.

I’m an all-or-nothing type of person so general platitudes about ‘eating more lightly and healthily’ never seem to stick. Sobriety is easier for me than moderation for example.  So, this eating regime appealed as I would decide on my fast days and restrict calories and know that the next day I could eat the chocolate. I chose days where I was at work so would only be able to eat what I’d brought. The ‘fast’ days give your body a chance to reset and recalibrate and your mind a chance to practice stoicism and mindfulness. Here’s what I learnt;

Eating your feelings-I realised that many of the impulses to eat were driven by my desire to change how I was feeling. Bored? Open the fridge. Uncomfortable? Look in the cupboard. Instead I focused on breathing and feeling the feeling and then finding an alternate activity. Be it a cup of tea, a walk, a book, a shower, a few yoga poses.

This too shall pass-The hunger passes and surprisingly doesn’t hurt you (in the short term anyhoo) and the fast day will pass too and you’ll eat more tomorrow. If the day seems long-you can go to bed early. What a treat! I also found that even if I found comfort in the fact I could give in to my food cravings on the morrow, they were mostly gone the next day. This too shall pass as always.

Mind over matter– Because I was intentional about what and when I was eating, I got pleasure planning, preparing and savouring my lower-cal meals. Steamed veg, boiled eggs, smoked salmon/tuna and miso soup were my delicious friends. I was conscious of the fact that proteins and veg keep you fuller for longer so didn’t waste calories on ‘empty’ foods. I also got a stoic satisfaction out of the fact that hunger ain’t the boss of me-I am.

Keep on keeping on-I will continue this after May as in a strange way, I’m really enjoying it. The scales haven’t moved much but I have noticed an increase in energy and satisfaction by completing this regular challenge.

Have you tried intermittent fasting? What challenge should I try next?

Love and light and lighter eating xxx Yvette

Dr Micheal Mosley; https://thefast800.com/

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Come on come on…Feel it feel it!

Marky Mark and his funky bunch were onto something by urging us to ‘feel the vibrations’. I’ve been trying an emotional processing technique ATM and I’m finding it effective AF. I’m doing a course run by Charlie Goldsmith called, “My Good Habits”. He explains that when feelings come up, they need to be felt fully to process and then leave. When we feel angry or sad, we often avoid feeling it-instead choosing to put on a brave face or distract ourselves with cake or booze. In this way it’s like a child coming to tell us they’re upset and us shooing them away saying ‘not now, snap out of it, here’s a cup-cake and a bit of wine’.

I’m no expert but this surely isn’t an appropriate response to a child in pain and it’s not an appropriate response to ourselves either. If we feel happy or like laughing, we respond in the moment rather postponing it saying, ‘that’s funny, I’ll laugh later at a better time’. We feel happy, smile and laugh and then it passes. Charlie suggests that when we feel any emotion coming up, we should lean into it-close eyes if possible and chase the feeling around your body. It may get stronger for a time but will quickly dissipate if we sit with it and process it.

He used this technique with someone who was very scared of dogs. Every time she saw a dog, she felt the fear and would run away. Charlie encouraged her to feel into this fear and feel it acutely until it passed and then she was able to pat his doggie and is now patting every dog she meets. What joy! She had been avoiding feeling the fear because it was uncomfortable and the fear had become associated with dogs as when she was younger her parents told her never to touch them as they could be diseased or aggro. Once she felt the fear instead of having the flight response, she was able to process it and move through it.

I’ve been trying this and it does seem counterintuitive at first to feel further into the uncomfortable feelings but if I focus on following the feeling around my body, I do actually pass through the other side to being past it. For example, I’ll feel anxiety about the uncertain and the unknown manifesting in my stomach (lots of feelings seem to start there for me) and if I focus on it and follow it, it will intensify and then dissipate and I’m left feeling calmer afterwards.

So, give it a try and see if it can be helpful for you.

Love and light and do you feel it baby?…I can too xxx Yvette

https://www.charliegoldsmith.com/

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Quarantine Basics

“Does anyone know if we will get through together or not? Or if these times are certain or uncertain? No one letting me know”. Chrissy Teigen

In my social media scrolling, that takes up an embarrassingly large amount of my time these days, I’ve discovered; That Chrissy Teigen wins the internet (@commentsbycelebs on insta does a Sunday Night Teigen Roundup) and that BACE is a helpful CBT framework to guide us in these uncertain times that we will get through together.

“BACE is a simple way to divide our daily activities into four categories: Body care, Achievement, Connecting with others, and Enjoyment. A routine that has activities across all BACE categories is good for us, experts say, because it releases good chemicals in our brain which are key to staying mentally healthy”. ABC Life

B is for Body Care; Sleep, Healthy Eating, Exercise, Yoga, Shower, Brush Hair.

It can be tempting to stay horizontal in PJs with the remote in one hand and a snack in the other but if you can get yourself into a more active routine, you’ll feel a million percent better. Here are some things I’ve been trying/ friendsies have recommended:

*Set an alarm for wake up (I have a cat alarm clock that refuses to be snoozed) and try to go to bed at same time daily.

*Because carbs and pantry staples were initially scarce during the Panic Buying Phase, I ate a diet of righteous mac and cheese and tuna pesto pasta for a few weeks straight in a warped supply/ demand hype. I’m now trying to get back to being paleo-ish and feeling better for eating at least something resembling fresh on occasion.

*Join every man and his dog (at a safe distance) in a walk round the hood.

*There are many YouTube Channels, Apps and Insta Lives devoted to exercising at home. I’m enjoying the Downward Dog Yoga App and the @EveStudio “10 Minutes together” Live workouts at 8.30am each morn. Have heard that @RyanHeffington Live Dance classes/ Parties snap too! (Literally-he was one of the Bend and Snap dancers in “Legally Blonde”).

*Spa Days-a weekly coconut oil hair mask and Go-To skincare face mask give me life and a tropic island scent.  

A is for Achievement-Reading, Baking, Chores, Work, Gardening, Music.

Kicking even small goals give you sense of achievement and buoyancy.

*Libraries change lives; hurrah for unbridled borrowing of eBooks and audiobooks. Recent faves of mine have been; “If I Never Met you” by Mhairi McFarlane (fun fiction) and “Gotta Get Theroux This” by Louis Theroux (fun to listen to the audiobook in his distinctive voice).

*Baking and Gardening I’m clueless about. But friends are raving about Sourdough Starters and Veggie Gardens and one day I hope to discover my inner domestic goddess.

*I have discovered the Dyson sparks joy and re-re-organising things does to.

*WFH’ers report that noise cancelling headphones, repurposed work spaces and giving Hamish Blake your Zoom meeting details for him to crash are helpful.

*I have to shout out Global Citizen’s (@glblctzn) #TogetherAtHome Concerts. My highlights being T. Swizzles’ heartbreaking “Soon You’ll Get Better” and Backstreet Boys “I want it that way” sang from their various living rooms in various cities. Am I…your fire?

C is Connection; Friends, Chats, Email, Love, Family, Pets.

Our social lives have been shrunk down to screen size.

*Zoom, Houseparty and Video-chats and are so hot right now to connect with frems and fam.

*I enjoyed a Trivia night with some friendsies. We all contributed 10 questions. Sample Q of mine: How many cats does Taylor Swift have and can you name them for bonus points? #

*My feline friend Bella is alternating between wanting to sit on top of me inconveniently and snubbing me. I didn’t realise how many dogs live in my hood until they were all being walked all the time! I want a chonky one.

E is for Enjoyment; Hobbies, Dancing, Playing, Podcasts, Movies, Puzzles.

This time has certainly brought us back to simplicity. And Tik-Tok.

*Lots of time to pursue hobbies. Mine include colouring in and blogging. I’m a savage.

*Who knew puzzles would make such a comeback?  Scott Morrison for one it seems. “How good are puzzles?”

*I love Podcasts from the classic to the bougie and the ratchet. A friend recommended Judith Lucy’s Podcast and I’m enjoying “The Joyful Frugalista” and “Hamish and Andy” too.

*Screen wise I mean; Doctor Foster (Stan), Unorthodox (Netflix), Lego Masters (Channel 9), Alexa Chung (YouTube)

So, keep it BACE-ic guyZ and I’d love to hear your hints, tips and tricks!

Love and light and #TS has 3 cats; Meredith Grey, Olivia Benson and Benjamin Button! Xxx Yvette

https://www.abc.net.au/life/an-illustrated-guide-to-bace-self-care/12136186?fbclid=IwAR00CGyrrpQ3vBqDDczCGUdpqNvS4BrCtsisWrInFNSyWGl1VBTesSX6cAY

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Seasonal

“The day you plant the seed is not the day you eat the fruit. Be patient and stay the course.” Fabienne Fredrickson

“No winter lasts forever; no spring skips its turn.” Hal Borland

“It makes me angry, I’m serious. But then again, I’m just about to get my period. Periods, we all get periods. Every month, yo, that’s what the theory is.
It’s human nature, another cycle. Be nice to me, I’ll make you one of my disciples.”
Lily Allen

I’ve been reminding myself of this when I feel stuck-in-a-rut (and especially now as the whole world is collectively in a quarantine phase). Life is cyclical like the garden and weather and 90’s fashion. At the moment I’m in a planting phase; on my knees tilling the soil and squishing down the seeds and doing whatever other gardenY things people do (the poor pot plants I’ve loved or neglected to death). It’s hard not to get frustrated that I’m not yet in the fruit-eating phase of being a teacher-librarian -yogi by the beach like I dream but instead am toiling to gain yogi and library experience, grow my blog and scrolling realestate.com wistfully. But I must remind myself, this too is just a phase which too will pass.

I love the start of Autumn. Life on the mild side! Cooler crisper days. Drier crunchier leaves. EasterY chocolateR eggYs. So, I must remind myself when I get that summertime, summertime sadness that it won’t last forever and the seasons will change (for now at least with impending climate change horror). Likewise, I’ve heard wise people reframing their thoughts about their lives into seasons like students in a ‘study phase’, parents in a ‘family phase’ and salary men in a ‘working phase’. These won’t last forever and the exams, toddler tantrums, capsule hotels and pandemics will pass. Right?

This seasonal reframe can help us understand menstrual cycles too. Even though Aunty Flo has been visiting me for yonkies, I still feel like I’m going crazy as one week I can workout daily and cook up a storm and get social (zoom for one more?) and the next, I feel like walking from the couch to the kettle to make a cup of tea is a major event and effort. Turns out this is normal and we should understand and honour these cycles too. I’m looking forward to learning more about this so I can plan for down times and disco times..Or stay home AND dance time as the current time calls for.

Thanks to Rising Women for this summary (link below).Week 1: Inner Winter – Around day 1-6 of your menstrual cycle when you’re bleeding. Winter is a time of inward reflection, a time of metaphorical death. Week 2: Inner Spring – Around day 7-13 when you’re in the pre-ovulation phase. Ahhh spring phase! This also represents the Goddess or Maiden Archetype. Spring is the second week of your cycle. Week 3: Inner Summer – Around day 14-21 during your ovulation phase. Summer phase is when things begin to heat up – literally and metaphorically. This is the third week of the menstrual cycle, where ovulation occurs
Week 4: Inner Fall – Around day 22-29 during your luteal phase (winding down again). Fall is the fourth week of your cycle, and this is where things start winding down.

So try considering things as seasonal and know that; winter, spring, summer or fall…
All you’ve got to do is call. And I’ll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah. You’ve got a friend.

Love and light and ain’t it good to know that you’ve got a friend xxx Yvette

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