‘The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice’ Peggy O’Mara
Self-talk is such an important part of changing the way we feel which then shapes our experience. What you think about, you bring about. This is the law of attraction. If it’s negative or critical, we feel sad, anxious or guilty which then brings experiences or people that reflect this. If it’s encouraging and positive, we feel joy and love which is matched everywhere we look! Like becoming a living version of my favourite emoticon, the yellow head with the love heart eyes.
This voice inside our heads is often stuck on a broken loop of an old tape. I’m not talking about the good old tapes like 90’s RnB or Craig David’s “7 days” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABuWphlnZ1A) which I heard again recently and loved a bit too much! I’m talking about that critical chatter, ‘why do I always do that! I’m such an idiot. I’m so bad at it! Craig David? Am I crazy?’ Blah de blah ad nauseam. Upgrade these old and well worn tracks with a shiny new MP3 version of joy. ‘Craig David! I’m such a musical pioneer. Everyone will love me for this timely reminder!’ Bias your brain to see the good. Wear those rose coloured glasses you have stashed in that drawer. The sales assistant was right. They really suit you! It’s not easy to do when these thoughts have been so ingrained but it is possible. Bit by bit, brick by brick, rose coloured hue by rose coloured hue.
Louise Hay is the absolute guru of this and suggests starting by choosing a thought that makes you feel a bit better. (More here http://www.healyourlife.com/love-your-inner-child) Imagine a 5 year old version of yourself and how you’d talk to them, with love, acceptance and encouragement and starting to talk to yourself like this. Forgiving others becomes easier when you imagine them as a 5 year old too. Even politicians were teeny tiny people once! With actual children, try to always use this kind and gentle talk so that’s how they talk to themselves too.
Other ways to support children and other humans to develop their own positive self-talk.
Encouraging: Offer encouragement for the process and the progress rather than just the accomplishment. This way a good feeling is associated with trying rather than simply achieving.
Role-modelling: Use positive language about everyone and everything. Train your mind to focus on the good and this will have a positive impact on those around you including children.
Affirmations: Say simple affirmations daily. This is a good day. Everyone is always helpful. I love and accept myself. These are catching!
Gratitude: Get into a habit of talking about 3 things you’re grateful for each day and involve your children. Gratitude brings more things to be grateful for and a realisation of the good that’s already here.
I’d love to hear your thoughts, comments and suggestions weavers! The blog pic is of little me. How could you be mad at her?! Thank you for being a friend and remember to be kind to your inner child or at least, ‘I met this girl on Monday…took her for a drink on Tuesday’…
Mucho love xxx Yvette