Are you there Universe? It’s me Margaret but most people call me Yvette. Don’t worry about the boobs, it’s all about the booty now. But seriously, I’ve been patient, I’ve been good, doing my thang but feeling a bit low. How can I keep the vibes high in tricky times?
It was so easy to stay positive and hopeful in the holidays and keep the house clean and the fridge stocked. Yes, it’s just me and the cat but she’s ravenous and wearing a fur coat that she refuses to believe isn’t ‘in season’ so she malts everywhere.
It was back to Kinder last week and I love my job but sometimes not all the stuff that goes with it at the start of the Term; risk management plans, immunisation records, meetings et al. Not to mention physically having to be there and wearing not-my- PJ’s came as somewhat of a shock. Throw in purchasing and making food products to sustain oneself and vacuuming fur. Agh! Who am I? Superwoman?! A job, food and vacuuming!
I felt overwhelmed and panicky and tripped a switch that put on those old scratched records. I’m not a good teacher, I have too much to do, my colleagues hate me, my hair’s neither curly nor straight ad nauseam. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTNCAq8EF7g
But being a confessed self help junkie it was time to swallow what I was selling. Mindfulness! Kindness! Calmness! Kids! Any want one? They’re going cheap! So I’m trying a ye-olde re-frame.
Mindfulness: Be present. Don’t be dwelling in the past or future tripping. The power of now (note to self-good book title). Focus on one thing, one person, one conversation, one time. (thanks Velvet Rage by Alan Downs) Now, I’m talking to a parent, now I’m in a meeting, now I’m singing open-shut-them, now I’m watching Netflix (Santa Clarida Diet if you must know!). If your mind wanders off, bring it back. Gently but firmly. If you’re thinking about talking to a parent while you’re in a meeting, you’re not doing either thing well. And if you’re thinking about Ryan Gosling…well that’s just inevitable in my opinion.
Focus on the why: I don’t especially checking forms, updating spreadsheets and writing risk management plans and it’s easy to get caught up in this side of the job especially at the beginning of the year when there’s so much of it! So I have to remind myself why I’m doing all this. For the children! I enjoy working with children and these things help keep them safe. As Helen Lovejoy so rightly says: Won’t someone please think of the children! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qh2sWSVRrmo
Feel the feeling fully: When you feel an emotion like sadness or anxiety, you can try and avoid it with distraction and substances or you can face it head on. One of the worst feelings in the world is holding back tears; tight throat, eyes stinging, breath held. We often try not to admit even to ourselves that anything’s wrong but until you can admit it, it can’t be diffused. Just like in that life-affirming book, Going on a Bear hunt: We can’t go over it, we can’t go under it. Oh no! We’ve got to go through it! “ Say it out loud to yourself in the shower and then cry if possible. It feels amazing sometimes! Then you can work to release it using EFT, affirmations and writing solutions to it. A feeling fully felt dissipates and sets you free! You can’t avoid your feelings successfully any more than you can an ex-boyfriend at a wedding so take a deep breath and get the awkward acknowledgements over with and then… to the dance floor! To the window! To the wall!
Love and light and all that woo-woo stuff weavers! xxx Yvette