Stone Cold Sober

Hi I’m Yvette and it’s been 7 months since my last drink. There was a time when 7 days between drinks felt like an almost impossible feat. My brain was wired for the Groundhog Day, one-size-fits all solution of ‘wine’.

Good day? Wine. Bad day? Wine. Going out? Wine. Staying in? Wine. Happy? Wine. Sad? Wine. Hangover? Hair of the dog that bit me…Wine! Wine was the answer at least for most of the questions in my mind.

Wine was friend. Always there. I could buy it! The novelty of this fact has never worn off. I can buy it? Whenever I want? Wherever I want? With wine as always is Garth/ Yvette. Of course it started off as a relationship full of fun and parties. Hangovers were minimal (oh to be young) and drinking almost an expectation. Slowly it slid into a co-dependent relationship. ‘I can’t go out without you!’ ‘Who am I without you?’ ‘You complete me’ ‘ Tomorrow? Never heard of it!’Please Sir, can I have some more?’

Hangovers got sharper, I was Flaky Flakerson. Slept through everything, rarely answered my phone, was late/ absent/ out of it for so many things. Still I drank. I tried tempering it with ‘only on the weekend’, ‘only 3 drinks’, ‘only as a celebration’. Soon the lines become blurry; ‘Thursday’s the weekend right?’ ‘ 3 giant glasses is still 3 right?’ ‘I’m celebrating having a crap day!’ You don’t negotiate with terrorists.

Drinking was a short-term solution to an ever-present problem; humans have feelings! It’s much more comfortable not to sit with the feelings of anxiety, anger or sadness but to wallpaper over them with the numbing effects of alcohol. The problem is those feelings are still lurking there under that paper-thin wallpaper and can’t be avoided forever.

I wish I could be a take it or leave person and enjoy a drink ‘now and then’ but I’m more of an all or nothing person and so (incredibly slowly) realised that if’s it’s all or nothing, it’s going to have to be nothing as all is not working. My hangovers become extreme. My body was clearly telling me enough was enough. I spent 2 days in bed throwing up after a party in July and after that decided, ‘perhaps a break is in order’.

I didn’t set any grand plans just that I’d try not to drink for a while. Initially it was hard; it was such a default program in my brain. I avoided social occasions for a while, I stocked up on Soda Water and Ginger Beer. I was shocked by the strong feelings I felt. I thought I wasn’t an emotional person anymore but I felt rage and despair and I cried. It wasn’t fun to feel that but a feeling fully felt dissipates, whereas what you resist persists. The days became weeks and the weeks became months and it became easier, the mood swings settled and I went out again into the public arena. On time, present and without my co-dependent friend, Winey Winerson. Maybe one day I can enjoy a drink now and again but until then…make mine what the French call, ‘sans alcool’.

Intentional intentionality

I, like many, was inspired by ‘Minimalism: A Documentary about the important things’ on Netflix over the Christmas holidays and its message: Love people, use things. The opposite never works. https://minimalismfilm.com/

What a relevant time it was as consumer culture was in full swing! Boxes and boxes of chocolates I was forced to give and eat and re-gift (The horror! The horror!) and mountains of wrapping paper, cards and envelopes.

On arrival home after a season of excess, I began to de-clutter. I started by getting rid of the DVDS I never watch (now Netflix is upon us), the books I was unlikely to re-read and the clothes I rarely wore. As I only have a small place, I was amazed at how much stuff I had and never used.

The more I bagged up for the Op-shop, the lighter and clearer I felt. I turned my eyes towards the kitchen. When do I use platters? How many saucepans do I actually use? And how much easier would it be to find things if I streamlined the utensil drawer? Does this mug spark joy?

I was getting high on the minimalism train so decided to set myself a Feb-fast challenge. No buying any new things in the month of February which has but twenty-eight days clear and twenty-nine in each leap year. See Grade 3 wasn’t a total write-off! Of course, I’d buy food and hygiene things but try to be a more intentional consumer. What I did…

Books: I love books. I love bookstores. I love bookmarks. Buying self-help books is like my crack. The sniff of hope. A better me at the end of 289 pages. I already have so many hopeful titles on my shelf unread or partially unread so I was able to steer clear. I did hit the library though and borrow heaps of kiddie books for Kinder. I love library and there are also plenty of 2nd hand bookstores where you can get store credit for the books you donate. I’m trying to maintain a one in, two out policy for books. Sweet sweet books.

Clothes: I pretty much Steve Jobs it anyway. Not a black skivvy but mainly a denim skirt! Summer geek chic. One who works with children must always be ready to roll in sand, play dough, paint and do the hokey-pokey. This helps with decision fatigue and leaves my mind free to contemplate the big questions…who will next be evicted from the jungle on ‘I’m a celebrity… get me out of here!’

Other things: I used gift vouchers for movies, made cards for birthdays and unsubscribed from many mailing lists. I actually enjoyed the challenge and think I’ll buy less as a result of my intentional intentionality. I’ve also been more mindful with materials at Kinder. Kids can benefit from having less too. They can use their imaginations and play with sticks in dirt and their button collection like we used to after walking 5 miles in the snow to school. A day without an i-pad killed no one!

I’d love to hear from you! Are you an intentional consumer? A minimalist? A cat lover?

Love and love and light xxx Yvette

Are you there Universe? It’s me…

Are you there Universe? It’s me Margaret but most people call me Yvette. Don’t worry about the boobs, it’s all about the booty now. But seriously, I’ve been patient, I’ve been good, doing my thang but feeling a bit low. How can I keep the vibes high in tricky times?

It was so easy to stay positive and hopeful in the holidays and keep the house clean and the fridge stocked. Yes, it’s just me and the cat but she’s ravenous and wearing a fur coat that she refuses to believe isn’t ‘in season’ so she malts everywhere.

It was back to Kinder last week and I love my job but sometimes not all the stuff that goes with it at the start of the Term; risk management plans, immunisation records, meetings et al. Not to mention physically having to be there and wearing not-my- PJ’s came as somewhat of a shock. Throw in purchasing and making food products to sustain oneself and vacuuming fur. Agh! Who am I? Superwoman?! A job, food and vacuuming!

I felt overwhelmed and panicky and tripped a switch that put on those old scratched records. I’m not a good teacher, I have too much to do, my colleagues hate me, my hair’s neither curly nor straight ad nauseam. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTNCAq8EF7g

But being a confessed self help junkie it was time to swallow what I was selling. Mindfulness! Kindness! Calmness! Kids! Any want one? They’re going cheap! So I’m trying a ye-olde re-frame.

Mindfulness: Be present. Don’t be dwelling in the past or future tripping. The power of now (note to self-good book title). Focus on one thing, one person, one conversation, one time. (thanks Velvet Rage by Alan Downs) Now, I’m talking to a parent, now I’m in a meeting, now I’m singing open-shut-them, now I’m watching Netflix (Santa Clarida Diet if you must know!). If your mind wanders off, bring it back. Gently but firmly. If you’re thinking about talking to a parent while you’re in a meeting, you’re not doing either thing well. And if you’re thinking about Ryan Gosling…well that’s just inevitable in my opinion.

Focus on the why: I don’t especially checking forms, updating spreadsheets and writing risk management plans and it’s easy to get caught up in this side of the job especially at the beginning of the year when there’s so much of it! So I have to remind myself why I’m doing all this. For the children! I enjoy working with children and these things help keep them safe. As Helen Lovejoy so rightly says: Won’t someone please think of the children! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qh2sWSVRrmo

Feel the feeling fully: When you feel an emotion like sadness or anxiety, you can try and avoid it with distraction and substances or you can face it head on. One of the worst feelings in the world is holding back tears; tight throat, eyes stinging, breath held. We often try not to admit even to ourselves that anything’s wrong but until you can admit it, it can’t be diffused. Just like in that life-affirming book, Going on a Bear hunt: We can’t go over it, we can’t go under it. Oh no! We’ve got to go through it! “ Say it out loud to yourself in the shower and then cry if possible. It feels amazing sometimes! Then you can work to release it using EFT, affirmations and writing solutions to it. A feeling fully felt dissipates and sets you free! You can’t avoid your feelings successfully any more than you can an ex-boyfriend at a wedding so take a deep breath and get the awkward acknowledgements over with and then… to the dance floor! To the window! To the wall!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NBLvwE7DU0

Love and light and all that woo-woo stuff weavers! xxx Yvette

Be kind to your inner child

 

‘The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice’ Peggy O’Mara

Self-talk is such an important part of changing the way we feel which then shapes our experience. What you think about, you bring about. This is the law of attraction. If it’s negative or critical, we feel sad, anxious or guilty which then brings experiences or people that reflect this. If it’s encouraging and positive, we feel joy and love which is matched everywhere we look! Like becoming a living version of my favourite emoticon, the yellow head with the love heart eyes.

This voice inside our heads is often stuck on a broken loop of an old tape. I’m not talking about the good old tapes like 90’s RnB or Craig David’s “7 days” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABuWphlnZ1A) which I heard again recently and loved a bit too much! I’m talking about that critical chatter, ‘why do I always do that! I’m such an idiot. I’m so bad at it! Craig David? Am I crazy?’ Blah de blah ad nauseam. Upgrade these old and well worn tracks with a shiny new MP3 version of joy. ‘Craig David! I’m such a musical pioneer. Everyone will love me for this timely reminder!’ Bias your brain to see the good. Wear those rose coloured glasses you have stashed in that drawer. The sales assistant was right. They really suit you! It’s not easy to do when these thoughts have been so ingrained but it is possible. Bit by bit, brick by brick, rose coloured hue by rose coloured hue.

Louise Hay is the absolute guru of this and suggests starting by choosing a thought that makes you feel a bit better. (More here http://www.healyourlife.com/love-your-inner-child) Imagine a 5 year old version of yourself and how you’d talk to them, with love, acceptance and encouragement and starting to talk to yourself like this. Forgiving others becomes easier when you imagine them as a 5 year old too. Even politicians were teeny tiny people once! With actual children, try to always use this kind and gentle talk so that’s how they talk to themselves too.

Other ways to support children and other humans to develop their own positive self-talk.

Encouraging: Offer encouragement for the process and the progress rather than just the accomplishment. This way a good feeling is associated with trying rather than simply achieving.

Role-modelling: Use positive language about everyone and everything. Train your mind to focus on the good and this will have a positive impact on those around you including children.

Affirmations: Say simple affirmations daily. This is a good day. Everyone is always helpful. I love and accept myself. These are catching!

Gratitude: Get into a habit of talking about 3 things you’re grateful for each day and involve your children. Gratitude brings more things to be grateful for and a realisation of the good that’s already here.

I’d love to hear your thoughts, comments and suggestions weavers! The blog pic is of little me. How could you be mad at her?!  Thank you for being a friend and remember to be kind to your inner child or at least, ‘I met this girl on Monday…took her for a drink on Tuesday’…

Mucho love xxx Yvette

Joy and Abundance

Hi weavers! I hope 2017 is off to an amazing start! I’ve got some exciting things I’m looking forward to this year and thought I’d share them with you. My affirmation for this year is, “I move deliberately towards my greatest joy and abundance”. Do you have a word or affirmation for this year?

Daily Practices: I’m committed to daily yoga, meditation, EFT and journalling this year. Even if I can do 5 minutes of each, these practices really set you up for a positive day! I’m doing:

Yoga with Adrienne: https://www.youtube.com/user/yogawithadriene,

Meditation using headspace app: https://www.headspace.com/

and insight timer app: https://insighttimer.com/

Tap with Brad: http://www.tapwithbrad.com/

I’m writing down 3 goals and 3 things I’m grateful for in my journal and aligning myself with my core desired feelings. Have you got any of these practices you find helpful?

Reading: I’m reading 20 minutes of non-fiction and 20 minutes of fiction before bed. Currently it’s:

The 4 Hour Work Week by Tim Ferriss http://fourhourworkweek.com/

Truly, Madly, Guilty by Lianne Moriarty http://lianemoriarty.com.au/Book/truly-madly-guilty-us/

I’ve got lots of wonderful books lined up; including The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks, and The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. I’m learning lots and then relaxing with some great stories! What are you reading? Any book suggestions?

Business: Weave the Future Magical is committed to helping parents and teachers develop kind, calm kids through their mind, body and spirit. MIND: I will be blogging and posting on social media regularly and sharing my experiences working with children as a pre-school teacher. BODY: I’ll be doing my yoga for children training and look forward to sharing this with you. SPIRIT: I’ll be exploring the benefits of using meditation, EFT and kindness with children. Can’t wait! What do you plan to create this year?

Kindness: I’ve been inspired by Simon Sinek to embrace kindness and empathy everywhere including work. In his book, Leaders eat Last, http://www.startwithwhy.com/Books/LeadersEatLast.aspx, (another one for the reading list), he talks about the importance of supporting those we work with. Throughout my teacher training, I was frequently told that I’m, ‘too nice’. I personally think that’s not possible! I understand that children need firm boundaries but the tough love approach doesn’t sit well with me. I do think there’s a difference between being nice and being kind. My natural instinct is to help others and rather than fighting it I’m going to lean into it. I will help the children, families and colleagues I work with and make kindness a central value in the classroom. How can you bring these values to your workplace?

 I’m excited about sharing this all with you wonderful weavers! I’d love to hear from you about your 2017 or with any questions, comments or suggestions.

Love and light xxx Yvette

Throw everything at it!

I’ve been making changes in my life. Daily meditation and EFT. Soberness. Journalling and dreaming. One of my inspirers, Denise Duffield-Thomas, says about manifesting that, “you might as well throw everything at it” In that spirit this is what I’ve been doing lately.

Daily Meditation: Shuffling Gabrielle Bernstein’s meditation albums on Apple Music and doing the meditation track that comes on.

EFT: Recently discovered, “Tap with Brad”, on YouTube. Excited to discover, he is coming to Australia next year. I’ve been trying all different ones but enjoy “Amazing Day” in the morning and “Tapping for insomnia” in the evening. Bless Brad!

Soberness: This is an on-going challenge especially now the hibernating weather is coming to an end. I’ve been focusing on how much better I feel, the money saved, the lack of hang-overs, no blurry memories. Although there are many benefits, I’ve realised the tiredness, headaches and moods are not all alcohol related but just the flow of life. Clarity is good though and consistency. Almost 4 months done!

Journalling: Writing 3 goals morning and evening, thinking of 1 thing I’m grateful for and then 10 reasons why every couple of days. Reminding myself of my core desired feelings daily.

Inspirers; Denise Duffield-Thomas, Gabrielle Bernstein, Danielle LaPorte , Sonia Choquette, Ali Brown. These women inspire and encourage me. I love their authenticity and generosity.

These are some of things I’m throwing at my new life. I love it. I wonder what you’re doing lately ? xxx Yvette

Abundant Abundance

Many unhelpful habits are formed in childhood. The voices we hear become our internal voice. We know that our thoughts create our world and many healers suggest imagining our inner child and watching how you speak to them. We’d never purposely speak to a child in such a negative put-down way but yet we often catch ourselves in negative self-talk like, “why are such an idiot? You’re fat/ugly etc etc”.

Children are listening too and when we say things like, ‘ I better not have a piece of cake or I need to go to the gym/ I’m getting so old /We can’t afford that’, they are listening and taking it all in. Money blocks often come from our parents and if we want to open up the channels for abundance now and for our children’s future we need to clear these and watch how we talk about money. You can set a good example by watching the words you speak out loud and to yourself

The balance is speaking about money as abundant but still teaching children the value of it. How? Gratitude! Cultivate an attitude of gratitude and share it. “We’re so lucky to have this food/ clothes/ holiday. What are you thankful for today? The more you give, the more you receive etc. Just start to do one thing and see the difference it makes. This morning I found a random Korean (I think) coin. I felt so lucky;lucky lucky lucky. I remember reading that a study showed that people who felt lucky found money and people who felt unlucky never even saw it. So feel lucky, watch your words (internal and external) and practice gratitude. Share this with the little people in your life. X Yvette

Image from Angel Answer Cards. Doreen Virtue & Radleigh Valentine. Artwork by Marius Michael-George. 

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Welcome Weavers!

I have a romantic idea of blogging I can probably blame on watching and re-watching too many Sex and the City episodes. Carrie Bradshaw and her Mac draped around her New York apartment contemplating life and love. I am excited to be here with my Mac in Melbourne doing the same. With a slightly less fabulous wardrobe!

I will be looking at topics like self-talk, manifesting, yoga and meditation and how they can be used to create an awesome life not just for yourself but for the children in your life. I don’t have any of my own but I have 2 classes full of 3 and 4 year olds I have the pleasure of teaching daily. I’d love for you to come along on this journey as we weave the future magical together xxx

Present and Future Magic

 

Welcome! I’m Yvette and I live in Melbourne. I started this blog because whenever I have a breakthrough I think, ‘why didn’t I know this earlier?’ All this stuff about the universe supporting you, manifesting, the law of attraction, the power of meditation, the fluidity of yoga. Imagine if you’d learnt it at school? What about if you learnt it when you were 4?! I’m in the unique position of being a soul searcher and a kindergarten teacher and I’m interested in combining these 2 passions and exploring the benefits.

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