Marky Mark and his funky bunch were onto something by urging us to ‘feel the vibrations’. I’ve been trying an emotional processing technique ATM and I’m finding it effective AF. I’m doing a course run by Charlie Goldsmith called, “My Good Habits”. He explains that when feelings come up, they need to be felt fully to process and then leave. When we feel angry or sad, we often avoid feeling it-instead choosing to put on a brave face or distract ourselves with cake or booze. In this way it’s like a child coming to tell us they’re upset and us shooing them away saying ‘not now, snap out of it, here’s a cup-cake and a bit of wine’.
I’m no expert but this surely isn’t an appropriate response to a child in pain and it’s not an appropriate response to ourselves either. If we feel happy or like laughing, we respond in the moment rather postponing it saying, ‘that’s funny, I’ll laugh later at a better time’. We feel happy, smile and laugh and then it passes. Charlie suggests that when we feel any emotion coming up, we should lean into it-close eyes if possible and chase the feeling around your body. It may get stronger for a time but will quickly dissipate if we sit with it and process it.
He used this technique with someone who was very scared of dogs. Every time she saw a dog, she felt the fear and would run away. Charlie encouraged her to feel into this fear and feel it acutely until it passed and then she was able to pat his doggie and is now patting every dog she meets. What joy! She had been avoiding feeling the fear because it was uncomfortable and the fear had become associated with dogs as when she was younger her parents told her never to touch them as they could be diseased or aggro. Once she felt the fear instead of having the flight response, she was able to process it and move through it.
I’ve been trying this and it does seem counterintuitive at first to feel further into the uncomfortable feelings but if I focus on following the feeling around my body, I do actually pass through the other side to being past it. For example, I’ll feel anxiety about the uncertain and the unknown manifesting in my stomach (lots of feelings seem to start there for me) and if I focus on it and follow it, it will intensify and then dissipate and I’m left feeling calmer afterwards.
So, give it a try and see if it can be helpful for you.
Love and light and do you feel it baby?…I can too xxx Yvette
Join me…pretty please Sign up with your email to Vetty and the Mail chimps to receive a regular dose of bloggy and other assorted goodness.
See you on the socials