“I want to be in the arena. I want to be brave with my life. And when we make the choice to dare greatly, we sign up to get our asses kicked. We can choose courage or we can choose comfort, but we can’t have both. Not at the same time.” Brené Brown
I’m a bit of a Johnny-Come-Lately to Brené Brown. I was aware of her Ted talk and the fact that she is Oprah-approved but I recently watched and loved her Netflix special. Brené is a research professor who has spent more than a decade studying vulnerability, courage, authenticity and shame and along with many a-ha moments, she also delivers some ha-ha ones. She tells a story about a guy who told her that her book inspired him to tell the girl he was dating that he loved her…and she responded “I think we should see other people”.
Ouch! Regardless of the outcome, Brené applauded the fact that he was courageous enough to be authentic and vulnerable. She says it’s not a matter of IF I fail, it’s WHEN I fail as putting yourself out-there and playing big involves taking hits. These ass-kickings aren’t fun in the moment but it’s worse to imagine yourself looking back on your life and regretting not taking a swing at what you really wanted, hiding your true self and not expressing your emotions and feelings.
Since watching the special, I’ve been saying “courage over comfort” to myself like Brené does each morning. So far this has led to many small acts of bravery; asking someone to be my partner for a stretch in yoga class (rather than opting for the wall), including heartfelt thanks in my messages (instead of leaving it unsaid) and joining in an overhead conversation in a shop queue (rather than staring at the ground pretending not to hear). These are uncomfortable for an introvert like myself but the warm feeling of connection and expression far outweighs the risk of rejection and the smallness of withholding.
Brené says that, “Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.”
So, come join me in choosing courage over comfort and letting your authentic vulnerable self into the arena to take the hits, roll with the punches and get back up, it’s not as if we’ve never done this.
Love and light and see you in the arena xxx Yvette
“The Call to Courage” Brené Brown https://www.oprahmag.com/entertainment/tv-movies/a26854992/brene-brown-netflix-special/
Sheezus-song by Lily Allen
Been here before, so I’m prepared
Not gonna lie though, I’m kinda scared
Lace up my gloves, I’m going in
Don’t let my kids watch me when I get in the ring
I’ll take the hits, roll with the punches
I’ll get back up, it’s not as if I’ve never done this
But then again, the game is changing
Can’t just come back, jump on the mic and do the same thing