Do you ever wonder what might have been had you made a different choice in the moment? Like, if you hadn’t missed that train would you have stayed in a crappy relationship selling sandwiches in an office rather than hooking up with the spritely Scottish guy from ‘Four Weddings and A Funeral’ and getting a choppy hair-cut? Life is like a ‘choose your own adventure’ book where every choice opens a door to a brave new world or a dead-end.
I do sometimes think about sliding doors moments and the Sliding Doors movie and get a little chill and not just cause of Gwyneth’s British accent. So much in life is about timing and what if you meet the man of your dreams but can’t chat cause you’re late for a meeting or if you’re offered a job that could be better than your current one but it’s more convenient and comfortable to stay. We make lots of little decisions daily (the cream, the bone, the white, the off-white, the ivory or the beige) and bigger ones frequently (to date him or not, to rent the place or not) and sometimes circumstances are created for us by the universe or other people (to catch that train or not, to have a maverick hairdresser that decides to lop off your hair or not). How do we know if these are the best choices for us or what their consequences will be?
In short, we don’t. Before my Gap year in old Blighty, spent mainly drinking pints in pubs with other Aussies, I had a plan. The plan was to study Advertising and Marketing at the University of Canberra and have a life of peroxide and power suits à la Amanda Woodward from Melrose Place. When I returned from seeing more of the big wide world, the roundabouts and housing estates seemed starkly in contrast to the romance of the cobblestones and castles and I decided moving to Sydney and studying English and Drama was more fitting. But what if I stayed in Canberra… would I have got a corporate type job and a house and one of those-boyfriend-things and 2.4 children (the 0.4 being especially cute)? Or was my life of part-time jobs and creative side projects and rentals and lone-wolf status inevitable or preferable?
I’ll never know. I guess all we can do is make the best decision for us in the moment. Tune into your feelings and try each one on for size. While I didn’t consciously do this then I remember that moving to Sydney did make me feel lighter at the time. Louise Hay advises, “When in doubt, ask yourself, “Is this a decision that is loving for me? Is this right for me now?” You may make another decision at some later point, a day, a week, or a month later. But ask yourself these questions in each moment”.
So as a certified Pollyanna, I believe that what’s meant to be will be and every choice is leading you somewhere you need to go for a healing or lesson or even just a pint. So run for the train but if you miss it, don’t obsess on what might’ve been if you’d caught it and remember what the Monty Python boys say…
Love and light and nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.” xxx Yvette
Sliding Doors (1998) Trailer https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LkEX_EqBeq8
MRS BENAUD: The cream, the bone, the white, the off-white, the ivory or the beige. https://www.triplem.com.au/story/22-funniest-12th-man-quotes-4786
Amanda Woodward is a fictional character on the primetime serial drama Melrose Place, portrayed by Heather Locklear. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amanda_Woodward_(Melrose_Place)
Louise Hay “The Right Choices” https://www.healyourlife.com/the-right-choices
“Sliding Doors” quote
Cheer up. Remember what the Monty Python boys say.
“Always look on the bright side of life”?
No, “Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.”