Well, I’m sure we’re all au fait with the ‘new year, new me’ phenomenon which sees gym memberships spike rapidly and then attendance plummet swiftly after a fortnight. But this year I’m trying something different, to allow myself to surrender to being ‘more me’. Not the watered down me or the more socially acceptable me or the less silly me but the me who puts a photo of her cat on her online dating profile, the me whose screams drown out the 7 year olds at the Taylor Swift concert and the me who accepts that “Game of Thrones”, or any entertainment that involves map reading, isn’t for me.
I recently met up with an old friend. Well, a timeless and youthful friend because we’re the same age, but old because we were BFFs at age 5. We noticed how we are closer now to our child-like selves than we’ve ever been before (except for that time that we were actually our child selves obvs.). It’s like a coming-back-home to myself after years of mistreatment; rejecting my true self, losing myself in other people, avoiding myself with alcohol, trying to be more of this and less of that. As I was telling my BFF about how I’m feeling much happier now I’ve discovered I love writing, reading, dancing and walking, she reminded me that I had always loved writing, reading, dancing and walking.
She totally snatched my wig with that one (as the kids would say) because I had forgotten that these had been an innate part of my nature for yonkies and I had instead been pursuing other pursuits that made me feel less happy and less me. I hadn’t been accepting myself just as I am but had placed a caveat that I would love and accept myself when I was more outgoing and less dorky or when he liked me or when I was more wifey. But guess what guyz… I’m someone who’s basically a chilled out entertainer with a head full of comedy quotes and pop songs. Trust me, this is what I do ,alright?
So this year, I’m surrendering to being the most me I can be, let the chips fall where they may. I’m leaning into my interests more and letting the rest go. I hope there will be more and more writing, reading, dancing, walking, exercising, studying, Taylor singing, comedy quoting and wig snatching to come this year. After all, I like my friends very much, just as they are. Why shouldn’t I extend that courtesy to moi?!
Love and light and how can you be more you too?! xxx Yvette
The Office “Chilled out entertainer”:
Bridget Jones “Just as you are”: