Who else is guilty of future tripping? I don’t necessarily mean dreaming of ‘the distant future’ with the hover boards that “Back to the Future” promised us (in 2015 no less!). No I’m thinking more about the jumping into a projected future in your head rather than staying grounded in the present.
This has been prevalent for me in the online dating world. When I’ve seen a picture (good), had some chat (gooder) and suddenly I’m married with step-kids at boarding school, rambling round a country mansion with hounds at my heels and a martini glass in hand…in my head before I’ve even clapped eyes on the poor bugger!
This future projection has everything to do with me and fantasy and nothing whatsoever to do with them and reality. It sets up unrealistic expectations and false hopes instead of keeping an open mind and a fresh perspective. ‘What do you mean there’s no country estate?’ ‘What about the Portsea pad?’ When if I’d stayed firmly fixed in the present, I could’ve saved my self the rollercoaster ride of losing a relationship that never even existed!
Gabrielle Bernstein, self-help goddess, says, “This future-tripping leads your mind to control, manipulate and over-think. This obsession with future outcomes will always lead to discomfort.” She suggests instead that we commit to taking things one day at time (like we’re in AA ) starting right now as “when we’re taken out of the present, we lose our power.”
To stay in the present, I find it helpful to carry a totem, a crystal, like my boyfriend Leonardio Decaprio did in “Inception” with the spinning top he used to tell dreams from reality (did it fall in end?) in my pocket. I focus on the feel, size and shape of my crystal (or pebble/marble/ stick/ feather/ coin in a pinch) and it keeps bringing me back to the present. I’m not living with Leonardo in Hollywood but my crystal feels smooth, warm and heavy.
Naming things you see out loud or in your head also helps to break the future trip and grounds you immediately. Hounds and horses…. No. ‘I see a cat, computer, coffee, couch, courtyard, cushion…’. The present is a beautiful place to live so don’t trash it by tripping into the near or distant future where finally, robotic beings (or Christopher Nolan) rule the world. Instead I’m aiming to take a deep breath, clutch my crystal and simply enjoy an interaction with a fellow human being on this journey called life.
Love and light and live in the now! Though you must admit …Leo and I do look good together!! Xxx Yvette
Flight of the Conchords: “Robots’