One thing’s for sure, whether you like it or not, wherever you go, there you are. You can try to run away, to change or punish yourself but the sooner you realise that mirror man ain’t going away the better. We’re the one we spend all the time with, a constant companion in a changing world and so why not embrace this and be your own BFF? You have so much in common with yourself and exactly the same taste in everything!

Acknowledge yourself: Looking in the mirror I think, ‘I have been through some shit’ but also ‘I’ve made it through some shit’. I may not always like how I handled things but I was doing the best I could with the knowledge I had at the time. I put self-preservation first and avoided confrontations with myself and others and went down the rabbit/ wine hole. It was a short term strategy to avoid the life long problem of being a person. Learning to sit with discomfort is uncomfortable (quelle surprise) but it helps the feeling to pass more quickly. Now when I look at myself, I do spy a kind of hope and heart and know we’ll get through this.

Affirm yourself: When you tune into your self-talk, you may well be shocked and horrified at the negative things you say. Often we say things to ourselves that we would never dream of saying to another person. Seeing as self talk is for yourself, why not try and change the station from negative-ville to pleasant-ville. Soften your language and become your own coach, cheerleader and best friend. It may feel weird at first to say things like; ‘I’m always here for me” and ‘I completely love and accept myself’ but if you try and choose a thought that makes you feel slightly better each time, you will soon get the hang of it.

Look after yourself: You probably spend so much time worrying if other people are fed, comfortable, relaxed and happy that you forget about yourself. It’s important to look after yourself so you have more to give to yourself and others. Make a list of things that make you happy and then try to do at least one daily. Mine include yoga, cat-patting (when she deems me worthy), dancing, book reading and writing. All inexpensive, cat’s ravenous appetite not withstanding, and can be done in the privacy of my own home. What do you enjoy and how can you do it more? Don’t knock self-love, it’s love with someone who’s always there!

So why not try being your own BFF instead of your own frenemy. You never think you’d like your friends more if they were better looking or more brainy or buff so why do you think it about yourself? Do things you enjoy, say kind words to yourself and give a thumbs up to the man in the mirror and sing: Oh, it’s just me, myself and I. Solo ride until I die.

Love and light cause I got me for life.

xxx Yvette

Louise Hay affirmations: https://www.louisehay.com/affirmations/

“Me, Myself and I” by Bebe Rexha and G-Eazy

Chorus: Oh, it’s just me, myself and I
Solo ride until I die
‘Cause I got me for life
Oh I don’t need a hand to hold
Even when the night is cold
I got that fire in my soul