Nice for what?

I have oft been accused of being ‘too nice’ especially when I was doing teacher training. The implication being that students/the general population would take advantage and tread over me like a wafer-thin rug. That to be a proper teacher/ person I must toughen up, speak sharply, react abruptly and come down hard. But as I have contemplated this, I’ve wondered if being too nice is:

A: Even possible. B: Rare. C: A strength rather than a weakness.

Nice isn’t glamorous and perhaps a more vivid word like ‘kind’ or ‘lovely’ could be substituted here instead. But being nice is not the path of least resistance especially in this world of the ‘every man for himself’ mentality. I appreciate it when people are considerate and sensitive and reassuring and smiley and yes nice. I would definitely welcome more of these people in the world. People who let you into their lane on a busy road, who are mindful not to bang on about their perfect partner when you’ve just broken up with yours, who reassure you that things can only get better and greet you with a warm smile whenever and wherever you meet.

I’m not a big fan of tough love and for me the shouting teacher or belittling personal trainer approach serves to make me feel discouraged and disempowered. Many of us already have these critical voices in our head and often we have internalised how we were spoken to as children. ‘Why do I always do that?’ ’I’m such an idiot’, ‘I should be able to run faster’ etc. These scripts can be flipped later in life but usually not without some sort of therapy or intensive personal development. Why not give children a more positive inner voice role-model in the form of a nice teacher or encouraging coach?

So next time someone says I’m ‘too nice’, I will not feel discouraged or compelled to toughen up but simply smile and say, ‘thank you’ and ‘after you’.

 Love and light and nice for life xxx Yvette