I love booky wooks. Especially self-helpy booky wooks with the promise of a brand spanking new me at the end of them. I have read a few goodies recently. For your reading pleasure dear reader I recommend…

The 5 love languages: We all have our preferred ways of giving and receiving love. Author and counsellor Gary Chapman has identified 5 primary love languages; Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts , Quality Time and Physical Touch. If your partner/ colleague/ child or cat have a different love language to you, it can lead to misunderstanding like they’re speaking French but you speak Japanese. For example, my primary love language is Acts of Service so I’m like, “thanks for the hug but what have you done for me lately?… ‘what do you mean I never say I love you. I show it by vacuuming!’ Knowing your own and other’s preferred language can help keep your emotional love tanks full. You can do a quiz (link below) to find out yours and get your partner to do the same or listen closely to what they ask for/ complain about. I like all the examples of couples Gary gives. A must read to learn to speak the language(s) of love.

The Talent Code: This book explores how talent is made not born. Author Daniel Coyle spends time exploring talent ‘hot spots’ and the common factors when it comes to producing talent. His findings show that a combination of context, coaching, deep practice, competition and belief shape the talent of athletes and musicians. Why are there so many successful Russian female tennis players, Brazilian Soccer players or singers from Dallas? Because they have the role models to aspire to, are prepared to practice deep and put in their 10,000 hours and have coaches who give constant feedback and adjust their style according to the individual. Coyle also discovers that the mystery ingredient is Myelin. Myelin is the insulation that wraps nerve fibres and increases signal strength, speed and accuracy. The more we fire a particular circuit, the more myelin optimises that circuit and the stronger, faster, and more fluent our movements and thoughts become. A fascinating look at how greatness isn’t born, it’s grown.

The Four Agreements: In this Toltec wisdom book, Don Miguel Ruiz, provides a code to live by to free yourself from suffering and experience happiness and love. The four agreements are; 1. Be impeccable with your word. Always say what you mean and speak the truth. Don’t gossip or criticise others. 2. Don’t take anything personally. This is the most challenging one for me as I tend to take everything personally, ‘why is that lady at the bus stop looking so displeased….she must hate what I’m wearing!’ Ruiz says that nothing others do is because of you but is a projection of their own reality. 3. Don’t make assumptions. Like I did about the lady at the bus stop. Clearly communicate what you want and don’t assume you know what others are thinking or feeling. After all if you assume, you make an ass out of u and me. 4. Always do your best. This will change day to day depending on if you’re tired or sick etc. Just do the best you can in every moment and avoid self judgement or regret. I’ll do my best to live by these.

What have you read lately dear reader?

Love and light and I’ll still be in the self-help section xxx Yvette

5 Love Languages Quiz

The Talent Code

Four Agreements Summary

Help me help you– more of my self-help faves