Recently I’ve been exploring how to get comfortable with the uncomfortable. After all, life isn’t always a cake walk through the forest of rainbows and if we fight it, flee it or bitch about it, it gets worser rather than betterer. My aim is to always be cool, calm and unruffled and act with more grace and diplomacy than the Duchess of Cambridge at a charity event in spite of crazy hot or cold weather, unexpected events or rude people. Is this even possible? And how can one embrace one’s discomfort?
The present is a present: Be present in the moment and don’t catastrophise it in your brain. Eckhart Tolle says, “Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it”. Yes, you are sweaty or embarrassed but just sitting with the discomfort rather than escaping down the nearest bottle, block of chocolate or Facebook feed will help to disempower it. My lovely kinesiologist taught me to look around and name what I see out loud…TV, table, plant, computer, coffee mug, cat… This gets you out of your head and back into the present. A hard core lesson in acceptance was when I went on a silent meditation retreat; not talking, barely eating or sleeping and sitting still for 8 hours a day sure wasn’t comfy. But I had chosen it (who wants to go on holidays with me next time? I’m lots of fun) and I had to accept it and not fight it. Slowly but surely I surrendered to the fact I was tired, hungry, sitting on a cold hard floor and my back was aching but still I sat (for a million hours) and I survived.
Thank you Kindly Sir: “Trade your expectations for appreciation and your whole world changes in an instant”, my mate Tony Robbins says. Look for things to be grateful for in the midst of discomfort, worry or uncertainty. At the retreat, for example, I felt gratitude for the kookaburras in the trees (they didn’t get the silent memo and their laughter pierced the air). There is always something to be thankful for and this shifts the focus away from what’s wrong. If someone is annoying you, think about something you appreciate about them, even if it’s the fact that they have nice shoes or that they challenge you and are therefore helping you to grow. It’s impossible to be simultaneously grateful and angry.
I no complain: That which you give focus, words and energy to grows. So put a lid on the negativity and be like Con the fruiterer and ‘no complain’ (ah 90’s comedy). Try going a day without saying anything negative about yourself, someone else, the contestants on that reality show (put your pot plants out for Jarrod) and even the weather. Now that’s a challenge in Melbourne. “Lovely day” says person A. “It is now but it’s going to rain this afternoon” says person B and repeat to whomever you meet. You can use a rubber band around your wrist and give it a flick when you think or say these things. Once you tune into how frequently this occurs you may be shocked and your wrist will be sore. Or try the 21 day negativity fast challenge (link below) cause I’m never gonna stop the rain by complaining…because I’m free,
nothing’s worrying me.
So be present and appreciative and no complain and you and discomfort will be BFF’s.
Love and light and you may now call me the Duchess of Thornbury xxx Yvette