All of us feel unworthy at times. Like we’re not good enough, not thin enough, not smart enough, undeserving, unlovable and nobody loves me, everybody hates me, think I’ll go eat worms. Like Wayne and Garth at the feet of Alice Cooper in “Wayne’s World”, our brains are saying, “We’re not worthy, we’re not worthy”, but our hearts are saying (like Alice),“Guys, guys, you’re worthy. Get up”. How can we catch ourselves feeling unworthy and turn the ship around before we go sailing into the self-loathing-rapids screaming ‘we’re scum, we suck’?
What’s your flavour? What triggers your feelings of unworthiness? What’s your go-to flavour of suffering? Is it criticism from a boss? Criticism from your inner jerk? Falling short of completing a bible-length to do list? Comparisonitus with every loved-up, cashed-up, muscled-up, blessed-up influencer on Instagram? It’s helpful to recognise our triggers and the physical signals associated with them.
You better recognise! Tune into that voice in your head (she thinks I’m fat, ugly and stupid) and realise you’re replaying that old record more than a commercial station flogs the latest Ed Sheeran. Then recognise the physical symptoms associated with these thoughts. For me, my trigger is feeling criticised (I’m a fragile flower) which then leads to me piling it on by criticising myself (I’m fat, ugly and stupid) and feeling an itchiness in my throat, a stiffness in my jaw and weight on my shoulders.
Ask a stupid question…Tony Robbins (you didn’t think I could go a week without mentioning him did you?) says the quality of your questions determine the quality of your life. What questions are you asking in these moments of feeling unworthy? Stupid ones of course! ‘Why am I such an idiot? Why do I always do this? Why am I fat, ugly and stupid?’ Change the bloody record mate! Upgrade the quality of your questions by asking yourself; is this true? What can I feel grateful for right now? Is this who am I? This last one is a real pattern interrupter for me. No, this is not who I am. I am a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars. Now please excuse me while I skip down the street…
I like to move it move it: Movement can shift feelings quickly so shake out your body, jump up and down or go for walk or a skip if possible. It’s impossible to skip and feel miserable. Author Melissa Ambrosini does a ‘pity party dance-off’ to shift her state by putting some music on and having a boogie. Of course, it may not always be an option to start dancing in a meeting or go for a skip in the middle of class, so you could try a subtler kind of moving like a few deep breaths in and out. Louise Hay (you didn’t think I could go a week without mentioning her did you?) suggests holding your middle finger to dissipate anger and frustration. Your right finger if your issue is with a female and your left if it’s a male. Putting a hand over your belly button also stops you taking on board their energy.
So recognise your triggers and physical responses to feeling unworthy and try interrupting the negativity spiral with Organic Fair-trade Premium Quality questions and then shake that ass. Tell that negative voice; we run things, things don’t run we!
Love and light and stay and hang out with us… with Alice Cooper xxx Yvette
Another great blog Yvette! As I was reading, I was finding that not only were your words thought provoking, but also emotion provoking. I felt a wee bit anxious because I know I am my own worst enemy when it comes to worthiness and being self critical. I think I ‘know’ what others are thinking (which is most likely not the case) and I beat myself up over something that I am thinking – silly I know! However, self awareness is a start, and from here only I can correct my thinking!
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Thanks so much for reading Mel! I know exactly what you mean by being self critical and assuming everyone else thinks the same. Awareness is definitely a good first step and I hope it helps to recognise and respond to your thoughts and feelings through movement and questions. Much ❤️xxx yvette
Great blog entry Yvette, and something that affects most of us (all of us? …Donald Trump? No probably not!). As you say one of the best ways to shake it all off is to move your body, or as my mate Alan Downes says: walk your way out of distress. And get off social media. Wait is this social media?? Xx
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Wise advice from Alan! Bless you for reading 📖. I love the idea of walking yourself out of distress. Much love 💕